A Happy Trio of Dolls! How I love my surrogate babies. For years because of assorted insanities social phobias, and just being a cranky shut-in these sweeties were my stand-in Comrades.
I'm told by assorted shrinks that this or similar things are common to those with my gleeful madness. Some identify with characters on various TV or in previous times Radio shows.
Having worked in Radio, and related mediums for over 30 years you can see how that wouldn't take with me.
So dolls it was.
It all goes back to my kidhood, and playing with my sister's dollies. That, and my Grandmother trying to turn me into a Transvestite. This centuries before all that happy noise went main-stream.
I've told stories here about that, and other interesting adventures of growing up with somewhat stern, but loving, and seriously eccentric elders.
Mostly though the dolls became a life-line during the long AIDS Pandemic. Although we didn't know for a long while that's what we were all in.
All we knew was our friends were dying all around us.
Cutting to the chase...though you know how I love to write tear jerkers. Getting to the rather merciless, and sharp point. My generation of gleeful Queers was rather like the WW1 generation. The young men of Europe exterminated for nothing.
1914~1918 the first act of the Second Hundred Years War.
That war known to the rubes as WW1 was, and is for me the barometer of how just how far into madness we will allow ourselves to go. Quite far as it turns out.
AIDS the mass killer that no-one at least in the USA would talk about in it's early years. The Government was silent even the the Gay Press hardly said a word...mostly from ignorance both real, and willful.
All was knew was that all our dearest friends were dead or dying. Hence my WW1 Trench feeling about it all. It seemed that every week there was a funeral for someone I knew. That or someone in my social circle close or far, but there they were...dead.
WW1 wives had their children or writing or their parents. We had no one. Officially it wasn't even happening. That's something younger folks don't know or don't know how to internalize.
We were so alone in those years.
Someone should write something if they haven't already. I have a fear that this like so much of the culture changing events of the mid-late 20th century will be lost.
When the last of us Hipsters/Hippies/Peaceniks go that History will go too. Or worse survive as the ridiculous cartoon distortions that are too common today.
'But to the dolls.
While care-giving for a friend's friend my serious doll thing evolved.
He as it happened had a suppressed his love for them sweet little folks. The usual story..beaten by his father for showing Sissy traits..caught with his sister's dolls. It was bad. He was made to suffer.
Stupid Father's are so often the villains in these stories.
I would say there should be a special place in one of them ironic "Twilight Zone" Hell's for them...but I don't believe in Hell. Okay if the father decides to re-incarnate it will have to be as a colorful singing Drag Queen with his own program on "Showtime"...that ought to do it.
Evens the Karma out.
Anyway I went over to Kmart or was it Woolworths. Well one of them, and I got him three Barbie dolls..with a few costume changes.
He loved it!
So on every visit I brought a doll with me. They got fancier, and more expensive as time went on. I was becoming an informed shopper. After a time though I noticed the dolls were not being opened. They were beginning to pile up.
He was just too weak too forgetful.
When he passed, when my friend's friend finally passed. All the dolls were given away to a local Day Care.
There is no 'After Action Report" not for any of it. It came upon us it happened it ended. You know I've never actually sat down, and counted up the dead I knew.
Still can't.
However the Dolls continued. Stand-in characters for the dead. So for those that have wondered that's where my "Doll Thing" comes from.
They are surrogates for the lost.
I never replaced my friends...how does one 'replace' a dear friend? So often people in wanting to be kind have said that "replacing" thing to me.
...it can't be done.
All you can do is to try to move on.
Well I did, but I took Barbie with me.
Stay Tuned.
I was over on my Facebook page, and happened to see a video posted by a dear pal. It was of a Cherokee Tribal Pow Wow. All very swell, and interesting.
However...
As I posted here when it as it happened. Some years back the Cherokee Nation declared all Slave descended or Black members of their Tribe as officially "Expelled".
...of course the White descended members could stay.
Btw this hasn't been done since the Nuremberg Laws were passed. These declared all persons of Jewish decent as no longer German. This sort of thing I had thought was now illegal. What with the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights, and all that happy noise.
Turns out there are fine print exceptions under relatively recent changes. These under the heading of Ethnic/Tribal indigenous law or some such Whooie. Turns out the Cherokee lawyers doted their "I's", and crossed their "T's". I'm told by Native pals these guys cited just those exceptions, and got away with it.
NAZI SHITS.
Anyway this crime was eventually...after several years of bickering condemned by a few other Native Nations. A 'very few' because some of the other Native Nations we now know were thinking of doing, and may yet do the same thing.
Nice huh?
So I guess this proves that in a Democratic Republic like ours everybody has the right to be a racist fuckhead.
We all do too
White Black Brown Red, and Yellow skinned Americans all have overtly Racist Organizations. These nut-jobs are a demented handful, but they're there, and sometimes make overt moves. Like our pals the Cherokees.
The new Cherokee Apartheid Law is rooted in financial, and narrow nationalist considerations...like this stuff always is.
Lets have a look at exhibit "A".
Her name is sadly lost to history, but here is a Black Cherokee woman. Her image taken in the late 19th century. If she had lived to the present era she would now just be Black.
Just Black, and not the Mother Grandmother Great Grandmother, and now Great Great Grandmother of a child in the Cherokee Nation. She, and all her descendants are now just ordinary everyday Niggers. Which is how the tribal elders always saw her, and them anyway.
Is this an interesting Country or what?
Ex-Cherokee holding her canceled Tribal Identification Card.
When the accumulated Planetary Shit finally hits the fan, and certain scores are at last settled. The 'Cherokee' will be re-classified as "White", and will endure the 'same' fate of Whites.
'And as they have done with their Black children there will be 'No' Appeal.
Stay Tuned.
(I'm 'no' Saint...never claimed to be. However...The Whitman post below shows the Better Angels of my Heart.)
"I feel so full of Love. It's worse than when I was young." Quote from Saint Walt Whitman. America has many demons, but many Saints too. Besides the obvious ones there are the Holy somewhat quiet ones that influence who we are as a Nation.
Stay Tuned.
"We Will Bury You!" ...said the Boss of all Soviet Russia Nikita Khrushchev. Scary bleep that especially given the Cold War mayhem running around loose at the time.
Like 'all' great historical moments this was a simple mis-understanding. The translator getting the inflection wrong or something.
What our pal Khrushchev meant was that the then CCCP/USSR would overcome the advances of the West in both science, and standard of living.
The old boy could be excused for maybe putting it a tad harshly. He was a soldier after all , and hero of the Great War with them Nazi maniacs. He also de-Stalinized Russia...or tried to.
So the commie wet dream up there really wasn't what our Hero was getting at. 'Though if all that 'did' kinda sorta happen this would be okay. I mean as seen above NATO kicked to the curb the good 'ol USA a puppet state of Russia like Poland or East Germany...yeah he'd probably like that fine.
However not 'fine' enough to blow the damned world up to get it as history showed. He didn't "Blink" as western cold war propaganda sez. He decided as did Kennedy that this shit was seriously bleeping nuts, and some controls needed to be applied ASAP!
This is why your esteemed editor is still alive, and gleeful.
More later I have to go to class.
Stay Tuned.
WW2 "Lancaster" bombers above being shot down over Germany. Hundreds were. Just as many hundreds of German bombers were brought down over Britain. Both sides had profoundly brave crews that risked near certain death to bring death to others.
We are Noble in our Madness.
I think that's what I'm trying to say here. I have this WW2 flying fantasy that the Bombers were dropping food, and seeds instead of Bombs.
Such missions with the same risk I would gladly fly today despite my somewhat aged condition. Besides wars should be fought by old men anyway.
Stay Tuned.
Maybe if I keep speaking the truth about my failing health everybody will feel yucky about seeing that, and go away. Not that there are many out there. The count on the right there is fiction.
Blogspot site counters are always like that.
In reality I have no idea whose out there...could be thousands or just a handful either way is fine 'cause that's not why I post. I post because I must like I must breath live laugh weep sleep like that.
I am just who I am.
Till I'm not.
