Good morning Uncle Sidney!
i wrote a huge essay to match your three hour marathon. I hope you like it.
Or at least some of it.
I wish I can fix a lot of stuff but running out of time.
Just responding to some stuff you posted or said on the radio...
First on the agenda, lol, I hope you know you are not the only one who has visions...
I been having them too since I was little, although nothing at all as intensely as you seem to have them.
I can't remember how old I was when I first became aware of it, but I mostly remember the first really big incident...
I had a weird dream (among so many others) that I was walking in the street and the street was like a shallow river of blood, and so there I was wading in the blood and it was messing up my sneakers... a man came over and said to me I should get out of the blood or he wouldn't give me any more bones for my dog.
So fast forward several months, one afternoon I was riding my bike on the same street that I dreamed about, and a carload of teenagers zoomed past me and someone threw a can out the car window at me... assholes!
There was a big noise and I got further down the road around the bend to see that the same car had crashed, and it was a pretty horrific scene because apparently no one was wearing seat belts and some of the kids were thrown from the car and the windshield smashed in and the driver was almost completely decapitated... his head was just hanging there on the hood of the car connected by a few strands of I don't know what and he and everyone else were all drenched in blood...
I was there a short time by myself just taking in the whole scene before other people drove up or started coming out their houses to gawk, and I had parked my bike and was walking all around in the middle of the scene just trying to figure it all out... the street was not exactly a river of blood, but there was a great deal of it along with the broken bodies and guts and stuff all over the asphalt and flowing in the curb and my cool Keds kids Keds hi-tops were pretty well saturated in the blood... soon the fire vehicles showed up and the local butcher, who also happened to be a volunteer firefighter saw me there, I guess a little too close to the action and he kept making me move back, but I was all excited and not being very cooperative, so finally he sad to me...
"You better go home now or I won't give you any more bones for your dog."
So eventually I pedaled back to my grandmothers house, and all that blood made me thirsty for V8 juice so I chugged it all down and told her the whole story... I was not really bothered by all the death and destruction, only the fact that I had dreamed about it first.
I guess the only part of the death part that stuck in my mind was the smell of the blood and broken hot car smells...
I was gonna tell another story here, but I really better not.
Anyway, I try to remember the key points of what my grandmother told me...
that she also had these visions all her life, it's a gift that some people have but most people don't... if I dream something bad and it happens, it's not my fault...
It was only a premonition and I never could cause any of these events to happen myself, so I should never feel any guilt about it... and I shouldn't worry because there was nothing I could do about it anyway... once I understood what it was all about, it never really bothered me any more... it is what it is.
Some years later, when I was studying royal language and how to be a royal Buddhist monk, I was adopted by this 11 year old monk who saw visions and spirits all the time and we talked a lot about that and I learned a lot from him about visionary stuff and premonitions and crossing in and out of the spirit world... it was very interesting that he said a lot of the same things my grandmother told me years before...
soooo I dunno, I guess my advice for Uncle Sidney would be don't take it so seriously, don't worry so much about the dreams, because none of it is your fault and there is nothing you can do about it anyway... you are merely an interpreter, you have no control over any of it so there is no sense in worrying about, or trying to accept any sense of responsibility for world affairs or natural disasters (or even the ones you see closer to home) that you have absolutely no control over, you will only drive yourself nuts... and not in a good way.
Call me anytime if something is bothering you if u just wanna talk about it. You would be amazed at how much better you could feel just by talking things through with someone who really cares.
Yeah, I don't doubt at all that sooner or later we're gonna be faced with a nuclear holocaust... oh, I believe it all right, (and of course no one ever listens to you or me, but life is better that way... trust me, lmfao!) but hopefully the big one won't happen during our lifetimes. There's not a whole hell of a lot we can do about nuclear disasters other than stock up on potassium iodide and Prussian blue, hazmat suit and all that other good stuff you need for your fallout shelter... hey, i have those space blankets too... and don't forget the duct tape! lol.
Yes gentlemen, they are on their way in, and nobody can bring them back! For the sake of our country, and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation.
My boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now.
So let's get going, there is no other choice. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all.
Survival kit contents check:
In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
Now let's get this thing on the hump... we got some flyin' to do!
You can also check in here for up to date early warnings if anyone is interested
http://radiationnetwork.com/index.htm
I dreamed about 9-11 a few weeks before it happened also. Only my dream did not take place at WTC, but it was a plane crash into the building across from mine... fire, smoke, destruction and lots of dead bodies... and dead birds! I was afraid my building was going to catch fire too... they were evacuating everyone and I didn't want to go.
My dreams are never very accurate though... only certain elements within the dreams... also I dream a lot about plane crashes because I live right under the flight path to LaGuardia and every day hear planes decelerating and turning and making all kinds of weird sounds... and don't get me started on those damn fucking helicopters hovering over my house all the time... sofa king annoying!
I am very lucky in that I rarely have bad dreams... man I wish I could figure out how to make more of them come true! I could just fly all around the city hovering in the air above all of those inconsiderate morons with their double strollers and long ass retractable dog leashes who can't keep their eyes off their cell phones... if only more texting drivers would run over more texting walkers... also, we need more open manholes.
If I could live more in my dreams I could hang out with everyone I miss so much who left this world too soon...
I could go back to that strange landscape with the jagged white beachy cliffs and the bluest ocean I have ever seen with all the big colourful planets and sparkle stars in the sky... and one day not long ago I dreamed I was kissin Uncle Sidney and I woke up in real life with his cough the same day...
How does it happen??? You can't explain that!
Seriously... try to focus your mind more on the things that make you happy... be careful what you watch on TV or at the movies and what you read... it can affect your mind in more ways than you imagine.
Hey man... did you say you got some of your old radio shows? I want to hear them! When you gonna hook your lil nephew up? Huh? Huh?
Soooo, the day I found out about the venlafaxine I cried some real tears knowing the kind of hell you are going through. I saw it some time ago in a photo with a monster perched on top of the bottle... of course, the real monster is actually lurking inside that bottle underneath... fuck. But I must say, it really did explain a lot... you are a walking textbook case of SSNI side effects to be sure. I have been researching the subject quite extensively for a while and the more I learn, the more it disturbs me. This is an extremely toxic and dangerous drug and the makers should all be held accountable for what they have done to you and millions of others.
I don't know if you know that venlafaxine is one of the most dangerous drugs on the market due to the way it ravages certain functions in the body and the mind. It messes up your brain, your digestive system, your nervous system, your bones and ability to heal from injuries or illnesses. Worst of all is that it creates a SEVERE physical dependency and quitting the drug is like hell on earth. The two worst drugs in the world to detox from are 1. Paroxetine (Paxil) and 2. Venlafaxine (Effexor) in that order. I wish I was joking. There is a so called "discontinuation syndrome" which is described to be worse than kicking any opiate, including heroin... worse than kicking crack, worse than kicking speed or benzos, yeah holy fuck.
According to my research, it takes about a year to slooowly taper it down... even then it's a horror and you may never completely heal from the damage that it's done.
So why is this shit even on the market, right?
DOLLAZ, MAN! DOLLAZ!
Fuck y'all... no one cares because you're all crazy already... you're sick, you say? Oh yes you are, so good riddance! Now shut the fuck up and let us count our money!
Here is a taste of the ethics of the wonderful humanitarians who are pushing this fabulous elixer:
http://pharmagossip.blogspot.com/2006/08/wyeth-effexor-xr-is-depression-looming.html
wyeth
http://www.cafepharma.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?s=d7cca74e88378daf9fdf717e07058f19&f=34
wyeth was merged with pfizer
http://www.cafepharma.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?s=d7cca74e88378daf9fdf717e07058f19&f=30
some good info here
http://seroxatsecrets.wordpress.com/2008/05/18/q-a-session-with-dr-joseph-glenmullen/
But questions... I have so many questions for you!
The King Father always said I was a great interrogator... or he also loved to say I was like the Spanish Inquisition... One time he warned me that I would meet someone whose darkness was so great that I could never reach all of it, and that I must be very careful not to get sucked in to the darkness like a black hole in space... (the King Father knew a thing or two about darknesses)
I replied to Him that there was no corner of darkness that my zebra light could not penetrate, and I showed it to him... He was very impressed by how bright it was, and asked me...
"So what do you plan to do with this... interrogate him?"
it's kind of an in joke, I guess.
I know that the King Father has been watching this little melodrama from afar and I want to make him proud... so let the interrogations begin!
How long have you been on the venlafaxine xr?
Are you taking more or less than 150 mg? (apparently, there is a difference in function based on the amount)
Do you feel like it is really helping you, and in what ways?
When you started taking it, were you warned by the prescribing physician about the side effects and how difficult it is to discontinue the drug?
Were you warned by the prescribing physician about the severe risk of osteoporosis and broken bones?
Do you get a lot of headaches? (yeah, I know that you do)
Zaps or like popcorns going off in your head?
lol.. I know a lot about headaches myself cuz mine never completely goes away... the best I can do it try to keep it down to a low boil... I know some tricks if you want to hear.
Do you really want to continue taking the venlafaxine now, or are you trying to find a way out?
What other types of therapies, drugs, strategies have you tried in the past?
(please don't answer that last one here, but would really like to hear about it sometime)
Fuckin A, Uncle Sid... maybe you do need to have some kind of buzz to be able to cope with the world, and that's totally OK, but cant you find something a lot safer and less damaging? I could maybe offer suggestions...
I would really like to talk more in depth about all of this, but don't like the idea of encouraging you to post too much of deeply personal stuff on the internet, especially medical stuff.. So is the sky gonna fall and the sun implode if you pick up the phone once in a while and talk to me?
Sigh... How about I give a brief lesson in biology
I don't know how well I can explain this incredibly complex subject, but I will try my best and hope it makes some kind of sense...
I know Wikipedia is not the best place to learn science information, but it at least gives a decent overview with a lot of cross refs.
First about the key players of SSNI
(Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor)
Most people associate serotonin with only the brain but in fact it is critical to almost every function in the body.
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
Serotonin
Serotonin is a hormone in the pineal gland, the digestive tract, the central nervous system, and blood platelets.
About 80% of our body's total serotonin is in the gut, in the enterochromaffin cells - where it regulates intestinal movements. The rest is synthesized in the serotonergic neurons in the central nervous system.
For some types of cells, serotonin is a growth factor - it may have a role in wound healing.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232248.php
Norepinephrine
Norepinephrine is synthesized from dopamine.
Norepinephrine has multiple roles including as a hormone and a neurotransmitter. It is the hormone and neurotransmitter most responsible for concentration - in contrast to its most chemically similar hormone, dopamine, most responsible for alertness.
As a stress hormone, norepinephrine affects parts of the brain, such as the amygdala, where attention and responses are controlled.
Along with epinephrine, norepinephrine also underlies the fight-or-flight response, directly increasing heart rate, triggering the release of glucose from energy stores, and increasing blood flow to skeletal muscle. It increases the brain's oxygen supply.
One of the most important functions of norepinephrine is its role as the neurotransmitter released from the sympathetic neurons to affect the heart. An increase in norepinephrine from the sympathetic nervous system increases the rate of contractions in the heart.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norepinephrine
Dopamine
In the brain, dopamine functions as a neurotransmitter—a chemical released by nerve cells to send signals to other nerve cells.
Outside the nervous system, dopamine functions in several parts of the body as a local chemical messenger. In the blood vessels, it inhibits norepinephrine release[citation needed] and acts as a vasodilator; in the kidneys, it increases sodium excretion and urine output; in the pancreas, it reduces insulin production; in the digestive system, it reduces gastrointestinal motility and protects intestinal mucosa; and in the immune system, it reduces the activity of lymphocytes.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine
Neurotransmitter
"A neurotransmitter is defined as a chemical messenger which is released from the synaptic terminal of a neuron at a chemical synapse that diffuses across the synaptic cleft and binds to and stimulates the post-synaptic membrane.
In simple words it is a chemical messenger released from one nerve cell which makes its way to another nerve cell where it influences a particular chemical reaction to occur. Neurotransmitters control major body functions including movement, emotional response, and the physical ability to experience pleasure and pain."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurotransmitter
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
The SSRI/SSNI class drugs also cause an increase in an enzyme called monoamine oxidases.
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
"Monoamine oxidases (MAO) are a family of enzymes that catalyze the oxidation of monoamines. They are found bound to the outer membrane of mitochondria in most cell types in the body. [...]
Because of the vital role that MAOs play in the inactivation of neurotransmitters, MAO dysfunction (too much or too little MAO activity) is thought to be responsible for a number of psychiatric and neurological disorders."
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
SSRIs inhibit cardiac and vascular sodium, calcium and potassium channels...
SSRIs are known to cause platelet dysfunction and increase the risk of bleeding
So the moral of the story is that you are dealing with some very heavy shit, and this drug is messing with some critical system functions that you really don't want to be having problems with.
The SSRI/SSNI drugs work by artificially increasing the amount of serotonin in the synapse of the nerve which allows a temporary improvement in the chemical messaging system. But the problem with this approach is that these drugs DO NOT actually increase serotonin levels... it simply redistributes them to places where they do not belong and this in fact, over time, depletes the reserves of the neurotransmitters and cause the NT’s to remain longer in the synapse between the dendrites, which are then discarded and further broken down by enzymes as well as leaking them into places where they do not belong, causing further toxic reactions and inflammations to take place throughout the body.
maybe a better example... check this out here
http://9x2gsr.1fichier.com/
So then, SSRI/SSNI's, in the long term, are not only blocking but DEPLETING these critical neurotransmitters (especially serotonin and dopamine plus messing up the glutamate receptors, and in the case of Venlafaxine aka Effexor, (SSNI), not only affects serotonin and dopamine but norepinephrine as well) and INHIBITS the process of building new transmitters from amino acids, and the same reason you start getting zaps... because a highly critical element of your body chemistry is no longer there and/or unable to function properly.
To sum up, SSRI/SSNI's stop working after a time because they not only block but DEPLETE neurotransmitters. This results in having to continuously increase the dose and/or prescribe a second drug, resulting in even FASTER neurotransmitter depletion! It's a downward spiral you can never win, and results in a very painful existence for its victims caught in the trap.
MUST READ
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
"When patients try to end treatment, even stepping down their dose very gradually, many of them (22% to 78%, according to Rosenbaum and Fava) find that the receptors in their serotonergic system--saturated artificially for months, even years--experience the drop to predrug levels as starvation. Some patients then find themselves at the mercy of hair-trigger symptoms that register as intense anxiety, aggression, and insomnia.
Several receptors--including 5-HT1A--aren't especially malleable, moreover, and take longer to sprout anew after drug treatment ends, delaying the patient's return to neuronal health. Indeed, some studies I consulted found that in certain patients those receptors fail to grow back at all, in effect leaving the patients worse off than before. (See for instance "Dissociation of the Plasticity of 5-HT1A Sites and 5-HT Transporter Sites" in Paxil Research Studies 19.3 [1994], 311-15.)
As the proportion of SSRI-takers found to suffer from discontinuation syndrome is, by pharmacological standards, astronomical, and "one in ten Americans"--roughly 30 million people in the U.S. alone--"ingests" the drugs each year, as Peter Kramer noted only last week, it seems incredible that clinical trials have been so slow to recognize, and isolate for, withdrawal syndrome in patients trying to taper and end SSRI treatment. The number of people affected would, in any normal situation, drive a lot more targeted research on the problem.
However, while drug-companies have done their best to redefine withdrawal syndrome as relapse, to confuse doctors and patients into thinking the original depression or anxiety had returned, the good news is that research is starting to focus exclusively on the widespread problem of SSRI withdrawal syndrome.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201107/antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome
"In “Mind Field,” her sharp review of four new books on American psychiatry, Talitha Stevenson pauses to note:
Only 3 per cent of DSM disorders have any known biological causes. The causes of the remaining 97 per cent—and this includes depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar and all personality disorders—are not known. The theory that chemical imbalances cause mental illness—that a serotonin deficiency causes depression, for example—is unproven. Billions of research dollars have been spent on trying to establish a link between neurotransmitters and mental disorder, and the attempts have failed. For all the scientific terminology, psychiatric diagnoses are based on subjective judgments."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201305/should-lack-lust-be-psychiatric-condition
http://www.mytherapy.com/discussion/pop_printer_friendly.asp?TOPIC_ID=309
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
So, I bet you most likely never really had a serotonin problem to begin with, but you sure as hell do have one now! There are ways to help build the serotonin levels back up using specific amino acids and co-factors... let me know if you are interested... (it really is extremely complicated and dangerous to mess with some of this stuff... that's why I don't just post a list here.) Also I need to do a lot more studying and refreshing my previous knowledge. I have to live with my own conscience and can't afford to screw up anyone's life, even more than my own. The brain is a such a complex system. and unfortunately there is so much not fully understood and you can not trace every change in it and link it to all other changes either chemically, or conceptually.
Ideally, you need to be working with a real MD who understands nutritional medicine and not only pharmaceuticals... unfortunately, these doctors are very hard to find and quacks abound, so be careful. I have one really great doctor, if you are looking... (just an MD and NOT a psych doctor by the way... lol) but I don't know what he would cost you till you get onto Medicare. (another great benefit of Social Security!)
Panic attacks, or the pain paralysis as you describe, may be biochemical in origin, such as an imbalance in adrenaline, cortisol or norepinephrine... there are countless hormones, substances and chemicals in the body that have an influence on mood, behavior, and cognitive abilities.
However, depression is not really a serotonin problem or "drug deficiency" of any kind, but more likely to be caused by life experiences and environmental factors... you give a lot of clues in your writing what is bugging you... the catholic bs, racism, rejections, various humiliations, being screwed over and taken advantage of, being generally treated like shit in the world... now the loss of your job (even if that last one is a blessing in disguise if ever there was one!!) I have a hard time understanding how you are so tore up about the whole layoff thing... damn! (cue MLK sound bite)
But now you are free! Free to do whatever you want... well, soon enough anyway - after you transition from Unemployment to SSDI, these should be some of the best days of your life... you just need to find your calling and do your best to choose the right path and jeep moving forward... just hang in there and remember that sometimes the journey can be more important than the destination, so hang on and enjoy the ride
Well, so all that and a lot of other shit I won't get into for now, but a life of conflict and frustration can really take a toll in strange ways.
I hope all this doesn't freak you out too much, but if you don't know the truth about that med, you really should.
I wrote a protocol for you also, to try and help heal some of the side effects and compensate for some of the damage that the venalfaxine is doing. but I am gonna split that off into another post because this one is way too long as it is.
I doubt you will listen to me anyway, but it's still worth a try.
I better run so I can take a quick bath and pull a towel thru my ears so I can hear my fearless hero go batty for THREE HOURS no less... I can't wait!
i wrote a huge essay to match your three hour marathon. I hope you like it.
Or at least some of it.
I wish I can fix a lot of stuff but running out of time.
Just responding to some stuff you posted or said on the radio...
First on the agenda, lol, I hope you know you are not the only one who has visions...
I been having them too since I was little, although nothing at all as intensely as you seem to have them.
I can't remember how old I was when I first became aware of it, but I mostly remember the first really big incident...
I had a weird dream (among so many others) that I was walking in the street and the street was like a shallow river of blood, and so there I was wading in the blood and it was messing up my sneakers... a man came over and said to me I should get out of the blood or he wouldn't give me any more bones for my dog.
So fast forward several months, one afternoon I was riding my bike on the same street that I dreamed about, and a carload of teenagers zoomed past me and someone threw a can out the car window at me... assholes!
There was a big noise and I got further down the road around the bend to see that the same car had crashed, and it was a pretty horrific scene because apparently no one was wearing seat belts and some of the kids were thrown from the car and the windshield smashed in and the driver was almost completely decapitated... his head was just hanging there on the hood of the car connected by a few strands of I don't know what and he and everyone else were all drenched in blood...
I was there a short time by myself just taking in the whole scene before other people drove up or started coming out their houses to gawk, and I had parked my bike and was walking all around in the middle of the scene just trying to figure it all out... the street was not exactly a river of blood, but there was a great deal of it along with the broken bodies and guts and stuff all over the asphalt and flowing in the curb and my cool Keds kids Keds hi-tops were pretty well saturated in the blood... soon the fire vehicles showed up and the local butcher, who also happened to be a volunteer firefighter saw me there, I guess a little too close to the action and he kept making me move back, but I was all excited and not being very cooperative, so finally he sad to me...
"You better go home now or I won't give you any more bones for your dog."
So eventually I pedaled back to my grandmothers house, and all that blood made me thirsty for V8 juice so I chugged it all down and told her the whole story... I was not really bothered by all the death and destruction, only the fact that I had dreamed about it first.
I guess the only part of the death part that stuck in my mind was the smell of the blood and broken hot car smells...
I was gonna tell another story here, but I really better not.
Anyway, I try to remember the key points of what my grandmother told me...
that she also had these visions all her life, it's a gift that some people have but most people don't... if I dream something bad and it happens, it's not my fault...
It was only a premonition and I never could cause any of these events to happen myself, so I should never feel any guilt about it... and I shouldn't worry because there was nothing I could do about it anyway... once I understood what it was all about, it never really bothered me any more... it is what it is.
Some years later, when I was studying royal language and how to be a royal Buddhist monk, I was adopted by this 11 year old monk who saw visions and spirits all the time and we talked a lot about that and I learned a lot from him about visionary stuff and premonitions and crossing in and out of the spirit world... it was very interesting that he said a lot of the same things my grandmother told me years before...
soooo I dunno, I guess my advice for Uncle Sidney would be don't take it so seriously, don't worry so much about the dreams, because none of it is your fault and there is nothing you can do about it anyway... you are merely an interpreter, you have no control over any of it so there is no sense in worrying about, or trying to accept any sense of responsibility for world affairs or natural disasters (or even the ones you see closer to home) that you have absolutely no control over, you will only drive yourself nuts... and not in a good way.
Call me anytime if something is bothering you if u just wanna talk about it. You would be amazed at how much better you could feel just by talking things through with someone who really cares.
Yeah, I don't doubt at all that sooner or later we're gonna be faced with a nuclear holocaust... oh, I believe it all right, (and of course no one ever listens to you or me, but life is better that way... trust me, lmfao!) but hopefully the big one won't happen during our lifetimes. There's not a whole hell of a lot we can do about nuclear disasters other than stock up on potassium iodide and Prussian blue, hazmat suit and all that other good stuff you need for your fallout shelter... hey, i have those space blankets too... and don't forget the duct tape! lol.
Yes gentlemen, they are on their way in, and nobody can bring them back! For the sake of our country, and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation.
My boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now.
So let's get going, there is no other choice. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all.
Survival kit contents check:
In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
Now let's get this thing on the hump... we got some flyin' to do!
You can also check in here for up to date early warnings if anyone is interested
http://radiationnetwork.com/index.htm
I dreamed about 9-11 a few weeks before it happened also. Only my dream did not take place at WTC, but it was a plane crash into the building across from mine... fire, smoke, destruction and lots of dead bodies... and dead birds! I was afraid my building was going to catch fire too... they were evacuating everyone and I didn't want to go.
My dreams are never very accurate though... only certain elements within the dreams... also I dream a lot about plane crashes because I live right under the flight path to LaGuardia and every day hear planes decelerating and turning and making all kinds of weird sounds... and don't get me started on those damn fucking helicopters hovering over my house all the time... sofa king annoying!
I am very lucky in that I rarely have bad dreams... man I wish I could figure out how to make more of them come true! I could just fly all around the city hovering in the air above all of those inconsiderate morons with their double strollers and long ass retractable dog leashes who can't keep their eyes off their cell phones... if only more texting drivers would run over more texting walkers... also, we need more open manholes.
If I could live more in my dreams I could hang out with everyone I miss so much who left this world too soon...
I could go back to that strange landscape with the jagged white beachy cliffs and the bluest ocean I have ever seen with all the big colourful planets and sparkle stars in the sky... and one day not long ago I dreamed I was kissin Uncle Sidney and I woke up in real life with his cough the same day...
How does it happen??? You can't explain that!
Seriously... try to focus your mind more on the things that make you happy... be careful what you watch on TV or at the movies and what you read... it can affect your mind in more ways than you imagine.
Hey man... did you say you got some of your old radio shows? I want to hear them! When you gonna hook your lil nephew up? Huh? Huh?
Soooo, the day I found out about the venlafaxine I cried some real tears knowing the kind of hell you are going through. I saw it some time ago in a photo with a monster perched on top of the bottle... of course, the real monster is actually lurking inside that bottle underneath... fuck. But I must say, it really did explain a lot... you are a walking textbook case of SSNI side effects to be sure. I have been researching the subject quite extensively for a while and the more I learn, the more it disturbs me. This is an extremely toxic and dangerous drug and the makers should all be held accountable for what they have done to you and millions of others.
I don't know if you know that venlafaxine is one of the most dangerous drugs on the market due to the way it ravages certain functions in the body and the mind. It messes up your brain, your digestive system, your nervous system, your bones and ability to heal from injuries or illnesses. Worst of all is that it creates a SEVERE physical dependency and quitting the drug is like hell on earth. The two worst drugs in the world to detox from are 1. Paroxetine (Paxil) and 2. Venlafaxine (Effexor) in that order. I wish I was joking. There is a so called "discontinuation syndrome" which is described to be worse than kicking any opiate, including heroin... worse than kicking crack, worse than kicking speed or benzos, yeah holy fuck.
According to my research, it takes about a year to slooowly taper it down... even then it's a horror and you may never completely heal from the damage that it's done.
So why is this shit even on the market, right?
DOLLAZ, MAN! DOLLAZ!
Fuck y'all... no one cares because you're all crazy already... you're sick, you say? Oh yes you are, so good riddance! Now shut the fuck up and let us count our money!
Here is a taste of the ethics of the wonderful humanitarians who are pushing this fabulous elixer:
http://pharmagossip.blogspot.com/2006/08/wyeth-effexor-xr-is-depression-looming.html
wyeth
http://www.cafepharma.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?s=d7cca74e88378daf9fdf717e07058f19&f=34
wyeth was merged with pfizer
http://www.cafepharma.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?s=d7cca74e88378daf9fdf717e07058f19&f=30
some good info here
http://seroxatsecrets.wordpress.com/2008/05/18/q-a-session-with-dr-joseph-glenmullen/
But questions... I have so many questions for you!
The King Father always said I was a great interrogator... or he also loved to say I was like the Spanish Inquisition... One time he warned me that I would meet someone whose darkness was so great that I could never reach all of it, and that I must be very careful not to get sucked in to the darkness like a black hole in space... (the King Father knew a thing or two about darknesses)
I replied to Him that there was no corner of darkness that my zebra light could not penetrate, and I showed it to him... He was very impressed by how bright it was, and asked me...
"So what do you plan to do with this... interrogate him?"
it's kind of an in joke, I guess.
I know that the King Father has been watching this little melodrama from afar and I want to make him proud... so let the interrogations begin!
How long have you been on the venlafaxine xr?
Are you taking more or less than 150 mg? (apparently, there is a difference in function based on the amount)
Do you feel like it is really helping you, and in what ways?
When you started taking it, were you warned by the prescribing physician about the side effects and how difficult it is to discontinue the drug?
Were you warned by the prescribing physician about the severe risk of osteoporosis and broken bones?
Do you get a lot of headaches? (yeah, I know that you do)
Zaps or like popcorns going off in your head?
lol.. I know a lot about headaches myself cuz mine never completely goes away... the best I can do it try to keep it down to a low boil... I know some tricks if you want to hear.
Do you really want to continue taking the venlafaxine now, or are you trying to find a way out?
What other types of therapies, drugs, strategies have you tried in the past?
(please don't answer that last one here, but would really like to hear about it sometime)
Fuckin A, Uncle Sid... maybe you do need to have some kind of buzz to be able to cope with the world, and that's totally OK, but cant you find something a lot safer and less damaging? I could maybe offer suggestions...
I would really like to talk more in depth about all of this, but don't like the idea of encouraging you to post too much of deeply personal stuff on the internet, especially medical stuff.. So is the sky gonna fall and the sun implode if you pick up the phone once in a while and talk to me?
Sigh... How about I give a brief lesson in biology
I don't know how well I can explain this incredibly complex subject, but I will try my best and hope it makes some kind of sense...
I know Wikipedia is not the best place to learn science information, but it at least gives a decent overview with a lot of cross refs.
First about the key players of SSNI
(Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor)
Most people associate serotonin with only the brain but in fact it is critical to almost every function in the body.
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
Serotonin
Serotonin is a hormone in the pineal gland, the digestive tract, the central nervous system, and blood platelets.
About 80% of our body's total serotonin is in the gut, in the enterochromaffin cells - where it regulates intestinal movements. The rest is synthesized in the serotonergic neurons in the central nervous system.
For some types of cells, serotonin is a growth factor - it may have a role in wound healing.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232248.php
Norepinephrine
Norepinephrine is synthesized from dopamine.
Norepinephrine has multiple roles including as a hormone and a neurotransmitter. It is the hormone and neurotransmitter most responsible for concentration - in contrast to its most chemically similar hormone, dopamine, most responsible for alertness.
As a stress hormone, norepinephrine affects parts of the brain, such as the amygdala, where attention and responses are controlled.
Along with epinephrine, norepinephrine also underlies the fight-or-flight response, directly increasing heart rate, triggering the release of glucose from energy stores, and increasing blood flow to skeletal muscle. It increases the brain's oxygen supply.
One of the most important functions of norepinephrine is its role as the neurotransmitter released from the sympathetic neurons to affect the heart. An increase in norepinephrine from the sympathetic nervous system increases the rate of contractions in the heart.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norepinephrine
Dopamine
In the brain, dopamine functions as a neurotransmitter—a chemical released by nerve cells to send signals to other nerve cells.
Outside the nervous system, dopamine functions in several parts of the body as a local chemical messenger. In the blood vessels, it inhibits norepinephrine release[citation needed] and acts as a vasodilator; in the kidneys, it increases sodium excretion and urine output; in the pancreas, it reduces insulin production; in the digestive system, it reduces gastrointestinal motility and protects intestinal mucosa; and in the immune system, it reduces the activity of lymphocytes.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine
Neurotransmitter
"A neurotransmitter is defined as a chemical messenger which is released from the synaptic terminal of a neuron at a chemical synapse that diffuses across the synaptic cleft and binds to and stimulates the post-synaptic membrane.
In simple words it is a chemical messenger released from one nerve cell which makes its way to another nerve cell where it influences a particular chemical reaction to occur. Neurotransmitters control major body functions including movement, emotional response, and the physical ability to experience pleasure and pain."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurotransmitter
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
The SSRI/SSNI class drugs also cause an increase in an enzyme called monoamine oxidases.
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
"Monoamine oxidases (MAO) are a family of enzymes that catalyze the oxidation of monoamines. They are found bound to the outer membrane of mitochondria in most cell types in the body. [...]
Because of the vital role that MAOs play in the inactivation of neurotransmitters, MAO dysfunction (too much or too little MAO activity) is thought to be responsible for a number of psychiatric and neurological disorders."
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
SSRIs inhibit cardiac and vascular sodium, calcium and potassium channels...
SSRIs are known to cause platelet dysfunction and increase the risk of bleeding
So the moral of the story is that you are dealing with some very heavy shit, and this drug is messing with some critical system functions that you really don't want to be having problems with.
The SSRI/SSNI drugs work by artificially increasing the amount of serotonin in the synapse of the nerve which allows a temporary improvement in the chemical messaging system. But the problem with this approach is that these drugs DO NOT actually increase serotonin levels... it simply redistributes them to places where they do not belong and this in fact, over time, depletes the reserves of the neurotransmitters and cause the NT’s to remain longer in the synapse between the dendrites, which are then discarded and further broken down by enzymes as well as leaking them into places where they do not belong, causing further toxic reactions and inflammations to take place throughout the body.
maybe a better example... check this out here
http://9x2gsr.1fichier.com/
So then, SSRI/SSNI's, in the long term, are not only blocking but DEPLETING these critical neurotransmitters (especially serotonin and dopamine plus messing up the glutamate receptors, and in the case of Venlafaxine aka Effexor, (SSNI), not only affects serotonin and dopamine but norepinephrine as well) and INHIBITS the process of building new transmitters from amino acids, and the same reason you start getting zaps... because a highly critical element of your body chemistry is no longer there and/or unable to function properly.
To sum up, SSRI/SSNI's stop working after a time because they not only block but DEPLETE neurotransmitters. This results in having to continuously increase the dose and/or prescribe a second drug, resulting in even FASTER neurotransmitter depletion! It's a downward spiral you can never win, and results in a very painful existence for its victims caught in the trap.
MUST READ
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
"When patients try to end treatment, even stepping down their dose very gradually, many of them (22% to 78%, according to Rosenbaum and Fava) find that the receptors in their serotonergic system--saturated artificially for months, even years--experience the drop to predrug levels as starvation. Some patients then find themselves at the mercy of hair-trigger symptoms that register as intense anxiety, aggression, and insomnia.
Several receptors--including 5-HT1A--aren't especially malleable, moreover, and take longer to sprout anew after drug treatment ends, delaying the patient's return to neuronal health. Indeed, some studies I consulted found that in certain patients those receptors fail to grow back at all, in effect leaving the patients worse off than before. (See for instance "Dissociation of the Plasticity of 5-HT1A Sites and 5-HT Transporter Sites" in Paxil Research Studies 19.3 [1994], 311-15.)
As the proportion of SSRI-takers found to suffer from discontinuation syndrome is, by pharmacological standards, astronomical, and "one in ten Americans"--roughly 30 million people in the U.S. alone--"ingests" the drugs each year, as Peter Kramer noted only last week, it seems incredible that clinical trials have been so slow to recognize, and isolate for, withdrawal syndrome in patients trying to taper and end SSRI treatment. The number of people affected would, in any normal situation, drive a lot more targeted research on the problem.
However, while drug-companies have done their best to redefine withdrawal syndrome as relapse, to confuse doctors and patients into thinking the original depression or anxiety had returned, the good news is that research is starting to focus exclusively on the widespread problem of SSRI withdrawal syndrome.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201107/antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome
"In “Mind Field,” her sharp review of four new books on American psychiatry, Talitha Stevenson pauses to note:
Only 3 per cent of DSM disorders have any known biological causes. The causes of the remaining 97 per cent—and this includes depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar and all personality disorders—are not known. The theory that chemical imbalances cause mental illness—that a serotonin deficiency causes depression, for example—is unproven. Billions of research dollars have been spent on trying to establish a link between neurotransmitters and mental disorder, and the attempts have failed. For all the scientific terminology, psychiatric diagnoses are based on subjective judgments."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201305/should-lack-lust-be-psychiatric-condition
http://www.mytherapy.com/discussion/pop_printer_friendly.asp?TOPIC_ID=309
+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+
So, I bet you most likely never really had a serotonin problem to begin with, but you sure as hell do have one now! There are ways to help build the serotonin levels back up using specific amino acids and co-factors... let me know if you are interested... (it really is extremely complicated and dangerous to mess with some of this stuff... that's why I don't just post a list here.) Also I need to do a lot more studying and refreshing my previous knowledge. I have to live with my own conscience and can't afford to screw up anyone's life, even more than my own. The brain is a such a complex system. and unfortunately there is so much not fully understood and you can not trace every change in it and link it to all other changes either chemically, or conceptually.
Ideally, you need to be working with a real MD who understands nutritional medicine and not only pharmaceuticals... unfortunately, these doctors are very hard to find and quacks abound, so be careful. I have one really great doctor, if you are looking... (just an MD and NOT a psych doctor by the way... lol) but I don't know what he would cost you till you get onto Medicare. (another great benefit of Social Security!)
Panic attacks, or the pain paralysis as you describe, may be biochemical in origin, such as an imbalance in adrenaline, cortisol or norepinephrine... there are countless hormones, substances and chemicals in the body that have an influence on mood, behavior, and cognitive abilities.
However, depression is not really a serotonin problem or "drug deficiency" of any kind, but more likely to be caused by life experiences and environmental factors... you give a lot of clues in your writing what is bugging you... the catholic bs, racism, rejections, various humiliations, being screwed over and taken advantage of, being generally treated like shit in the world... now the loss of your job (even if that last one is a blessing in disguise if ever there was one!!) I have a hard time understanding how you are so tore up about the whole layoff thing... damn! (cue MLK sound bite)
But now you are free! Free to do whatever you want... well, soon enough anyway - after you transition from Unemployment to SSDI, these should be some of the best days of your life... you just need to find your calling and do your best to choose the right path and jeep moving forward... just hang in there and remember that sometimes the journey can be more important than the destination, so hang on and enjoy the ride
Well, so all that and a lot of other shit I won't get into for now, but a life of conflict and frustration can really take a toll in strange ways.
I hope all this doesn't freak you out too much, but if you don't know the truth about that med, you really should.
I wrote a protocol for you also, to try and help heal some of the side effects and compensate for some of the damage that the venalfaxine is doing. but I am gonna split that off into another post because this one is way too long as it is.
I doubt you will listen to me anyway, but it's still worth a try.
I better run so I can take a quick bath and pull a towel thru my ears so I can hear my fearless hero go batty for THREE HOURS no less... I can't wait!
I'm always surprised when it turns out someone is actually paying attention to what I'm saying.
ReplyDelete