"Stigmata"

Above is Saint Dominic Savio the main squeeze of Saint Don Bosco. When I read the real history of these guys. They're going alone into the woods to pray for hours till dawn actually,...hummm. Yeah these guys were in the Club alright.

This guy up there is the only Saint whose cock I wanted to suck when I was a boy. The rest of them were clearly blood thristy Jew Haters, and assorted nut job maniacs.

I mentions this as my bona fides to my former faith. Yeah I bought it,...till I sobered up. However it left an after taste of residual belief in some of the nuttier aspects of the old days. 

The story begins...

I seem to have the Stigmata. You know that gift the "Big Guy" gives the profoundly faithful or insane. The background story  as I intimate above is that I am still kind'a Spiritual if not religious.

Spiritual I can deal with religious has too many piles of innocent dead.

All through my boyhood I wanted to do G-d's will. Just like Saint Dominic up there or more to the point like Dr. King. He said in that "Mountain Top" speech the night before he was martyred. That phrase...my g-ddess..oh my.

I can see him saying it now.

"I just want to do G-d's will..."

He was our Gandhi  America's true Saint. Why doesn't the damned Vatican get on the job with that. There should be a lot of folks made Saint that ain't getting the time of day from them guys.

There's tons of Jew haters Witch burners, and assorted assassins madmen, and maniacs that have got the nod, but so rarely one who is actually Saintly.

Why not Einstein Louis Salk Walt Whitman Harriet Beecher Stow FDR, and Lassie. Com'on the Church has plenty of fictional saints. Why not add some that we actually like.

'But I digress. 

So there I am former good Katlick Boy current retired Commie layabout pornographer trouble maker, and Queer with the frigging Stigmata.

Are they bleeping kidding?!

I'd like to see what Holy Mother Church makes of this. Ah, but to them holes. First they ain't exactly holes,...yet. Just sores in the wrong places on both hands. The damned things are 'supposed' to be on the wrists.

Aw man.

It all started a few weeks ago when them spots showed up on my hands, and started itching like crazy. I tried all sorts of salves, and sprays,...no dice. However eventually the irritations stopped. However one morning I wake up, and the damned things is blistered, and bleeding...?!!!!

Swell now what?

Get's better spots form on the palms too so now it's on both sides both hands. I should email Heaven, "...Dear G-ddess hey I know you guys like fucking with me. All that sending me dreams, and visions of scary shit...thanks.

Oh, and thanks for them voices too..did I mention the Demons, and I assume Angels you like to send my way?

'But com'on ya gotta be kidding me.

You wouldn't screw me with 'that', not bleeping THAT! The fucking "Red Badge"?!! Heck I don't even believe in all that whooie Why can't you pick on somebody else for a change?!

I'm hoping it's one of them hysterical dementia things. 

Gawd knows I been going through hell for the last few years. An "Hysterical Manifestation". That's science talk for tough luck pal you're stuck with a bleeping sign from G-d All Fucking Mighty,...have a nice day.

Dammit why can't these guys send me a vision of winning lotto numbers something I could use. That or get me laid by a troop of Boy Scouts with a few sailors, and the Den Mother thrown in for variety.

What the hell are the Holy Bastard up to 'this' time?!!

Stay Tuned.


(The above rant was written over a month ago. I withheld it because who the hell would believe it. It sounds exactly like the crap I make up. 

Thing is the damned sores did happen as described. Followed by the expected delirium dreams sweats anxieties emotional shooting the rapids, and all the usual fun. Sorry I have no tidy answers for you or myself.

No it's not nothing. 

It's something, and I don't know what. Perhaps a kind of convoluted flashback to all the suffering, and abuse I had to eat as a young boy in the Church. That's what My sister thinks. Those were evils times. They marked me scared me, and all that lived through it to this day. 

It's followed us like a semi-visible demon into a another century.  

Then again the appearance of even a 'slight' manifestation from the cosmology mythology of my youth has to mean something. The Spirit realms use the tools they find after all. 

Btw of course my hands healed. However I do have the shadow of scars to remind me.

I'll let ya know if anything else happens.)