"It Don't Look Good"

"...you're kidding"

Okay here's the deal. This latest storm from hell is freaking out everybody here in the Emerald City. The Mayor Daddy Warbucks sez to hit da road while there's till a road to hit. Like last time they're evacuating portions of the lower laying parts of the City.

They ain't kidding either.

The heat is telling folks to clear the hell out. They think we'll get winds, and  flooding like we ain't seen in 70 years. Okay yeah just more fear mongering,...on da other hand.  Wbai my beloved employer has order us to out by 5pm. The Subways are shutting down at seven. 

Btw I might stick around to give a play by play of the latest end of the world on the air. Heck my shift goest to 6am Monday so all this crap is on my clock. Swell I just got a printout from the City government saying that hanging around low lying areas would put your life in danger,...hummm.

Fuck it this should be fun.

 

"Intervention for Uncle"

"Aw Uncle Sid, Holy Crap will you Cheer Up!"

What the hell's your problem pal?! Don't you 'ever' have anything positive to say?! I mean Com'on! It ain't 'that' bad out there. Hey ya know we loves ya Uncle, but ya start'n to freak us out.

Geez, you need to get out more, get laid, get stoned,..somethin' fer christ's sakes.

 Say why don't you invite some comrades over to polish off them bottles of wine ya got stashed in the fridge from last Christmas. They ain't gonna drink themselves ya know. Believe me you'll feel better, and so we we. Go have some frigg'n laffs for a change.

 Love, and Faerie Dust,

Tink

"From the Archives"

"Guest Editorial"

"The Truth about my so-called pal Tinkerbell"












Jeez Sid, hadn't you heard about Tinkerbell?

When the Radical Iranians seized the U.S. Embassy in Tehran back in 1978, they found thousands of duplicate C.I.A. files on microfilm which had been stored in the Embassy, because as President Nixon put it,...

"The Shah is our kind of guy, and we can count on him keeping the Persian Gulf region under control forever."

Anyway, the Radi-Iranis reproduced the microfilmed files and circulated them to all the intelligence agencies in the First, Second and Third Worlds.

According to Tink's files, circulated by Khomeini's bully boys, old Walt Disney paid her extra monies from his off shore accounts to secretly report to him on the activities of the Lost Boys and Peter Pan.

The files on Peter Pan, aka Lt. Col. Ralph Greenbaum USMC weren't found in Iran. They, and the data on many of the 20th century's greatest secrets,..the Kennedy hits, Roswell, what, and who the astronauts found on the moon, and why we'll 'never' go back.





That, and the secret Roosevelt/Hitler/Vatican Treaty etc., are believed housed in the Disney Orlando facility.




I can say no more. Reporters have been disappeared for less than what has here been revealed.


Walt worried that the Lost Boys were radical liberal "New Dealers" or even socialists.


This because they had been homeless political activists when he got them under contract, and had made them live in company housing. Various revolutionary political tracts. Some advocating racial, and sexual justice circulated on the Disney lot were traced back to the Boys.

This did not make the Boss of the Mouse Factory happy.

When the House Un-American Activities Committee began its hearings in the 1950s which produced the Hollywood Blacklist of Commies, old Tinkerbell provided Chairman Martin Dies and H.U.A.C. with names, letters, diaries, information on meetings attended, and all sorts of incriminating stuff the "Boys" was up to.



The C.I.A. file also revealed that Tinkerbell received about 10% of the stock in the Disney Studio's by 'NOT' being entirely truthful with H.U.A.C.


Certain accounting ledgers, bank statements and correspondence that showed Walt Disney had been a silent partner in Lyric International Productions which made "art films" that 'could' be of interest to a certain variety scout masters.

Ahem.

All in all, Tinkerbell has always had a lot to be cheerful about. And arguably, she is even something of a humanitarian. This because ever since the Lost Boys yacht mysteriously exploded and sank off Baja California killing most of them. Tink has generously employed the few survivors as gardeners and pool boys on her estate on Mulholland Drive.


The boys lost all their papers when the yacht sank so Tink used her political connections through her work for H.U.A.C., and the Area 51 Alien Technologies recovery efforts to bring the Boys back across the border.


They're officially Mexican guest workers with Green Cards. However by Armed Forces Intelligence regulations they're legally dead, and so can be used as expendable fodder in future black ops.


However in their "guest worker" persona's they can remain in the States as long as they work Tink's estates, and keep their mouths shut. So, you see Tink, despite her grey ops work, is good at spreading happiness to others.

Eh,..in her own way.

"Mid-season Re-run"

"Species Faerie"

"Me my Dad our Buick, and the Faeries"

Well there I was in bed with a flu, cold, cough, fever monster thing!" It's almost like being stoned. Everything is sort of sideways, and different colors. I'd be enjoying this if I wasn't so sick.

Anyway being in this frame of mind I naturally thought about my wee pals the faeries. City faeries are neat, but you have to be quick to spot them. This is a tough town, and faerie or not you have to be fast to get over.

As I mentioned in one of my other story's city faeries are attracted to neon lights. It's not unusual in summer to see faeries around brightly lit pizza, and ice cream stands. They also like the ruby red of tail lights. In fact that's how I saw one of my first faerie's.



This happened a few thousand years ago when America was fat happy'n on the make. Heck my dad was a baker, and he got us a nice house, car, and tv. On a bakers salary!

We'll 'never' see times like 'that' again.

Aw well, one night in this long ago gleeful time I was sitting next to my dad on the front seat of our new Buick.

A 1958 sky blue, and white two tone. Detroit knew what it was doing in them days.

Anyway as is the habit of kids on long car rides I was squinting my eyes to make the passing street lights look weird. I had just begun to do the same with the tail lights ahead of us when I see something odd.

"Wow that's a big bug!" I thought.

Only when I stopped squinting it wasn't. A bug that is. It wasn't tinker bell either.

Ya'know whole generations of rubes got really bogus ideas of what faeries look like 'cause of all the Disney propaganda. Thing is faerie's is just like folks. Just alot smaller,..with wings,..and feelers, weird colors, sometimes extra arms'n stuff, magical powers, halos, and eh...

Well okay faerie's ain't like folks at all, but so what.












So there I am sitting next to the old man as we're roll'n through Queens, and there's these little faerie guys darting around the tail lights of the Oldsmobile in front of us.

Hey, com'on ya can't make this stuff up.

Now ya'see by this time I'm an 'experienced' kid, and know 'better' than to tell my dad that I'm seeing tiny bug people on the ass-end of the car he's tailgating.

Hey gimme some credit. I still remember the penance I had to do for one of my previous visions.

I foolishly told my folks that I saw flaming bat winged hog demons flying out of an open manhole on Flatbush Avenue. My mom made me kneel on a steel rod while I said the rosary ten times over for being in league with Satan.

Heck I never even met the guy.

Sooo, I keeps my young trap shut, and enjoys the doing's of the wee folk in front of us. If dad saw anything he wasn't about to tell me. He knew better too.

Still they was fun to watch, and they meant no harm.

Not like that hairy sky-monster-thing. Ya know the one on that famous "Twilight Zone" episode w/the pre-"Trek" Shantner.












(Click on this illustration for effect.)

The furry bastard, not Shantner, just floats in the air chasing after airplanes. When he catches one he rips their engines apart so they crash. Remember that one? Over forty years later, and it still scares the crap out'a me!

Rod you're the Man!

"Yes all very interesting" you say, "but Uncle Sidney what the hell are you getting at with all this?"

Ah, I'm glad you asked!

See what with Spring, and the warmer weather not long off we has to prepare for "Faerie Time!"

"...the 'fuck'?" you say.

Hear me out.

As we know from traditions handed down from kid, to kid. Like the varied rules of stick ball or ring-a-leave-vee-oh!, or ring something. The name morphs from block to block, but you know what I mean.

Like "Ring Around the Rosy" passed from child to child for nearly a thousand years. The knowledge of "Faerie Time" has come to the 21st century.

Come June at midnight on that Longest Day "Faeriedom" awakes.

That queer bunch opens their eyes, and begins their summer frolics! Which is to say it's their mating, and general screwing around w/humanity season.

One thing tho' don't mess with'em. Don't be bamboozling or ripping these guys off. They may be cute,..some of them, but they has sharp teeth, and heartless lawyers.

...get da picture?

Otherwise we're all welcome to dance the summer away with them. That business about them abducting folks for years is crap told by the Church, Disney, and the CIA.

..them Hell Demons on the other hand.

'Word to da wise,..stay clear of those bastards.

How long has this been going on? "Faerie Time" No one knows. Rule of thumbs sez they showed up somewhere between Eve, and Babylon.












"The iron tongue of midnight
hath told twelve; lovers to bed;
'tis almost fairy time."

(Francis Bacon, and or Shakespeare)

Legends, real history, are full of traces about faeries" and their weird goings on. That Shakespeare/Bacon play kind'a got some of it right, but they mixed it up with all their class, and culture bullshit of the times.

I guess we all do that in a way.

But "Faerie Time" is real. My older cousins told me, and I told my special friends at school, and they told their friends, and so, and so, and so through the years, and ages to come.

An unbroken tradition from kid to kid. Like learning how to jerk off or shoplift.

When I was little I danced in a faerie circle with the sweet wee folk by the light of a full moon in Prospect Park.

Then again on a warm steamy night in Central Park when I was a happily crazed'n horny teenager. Now in my demented pissed off late middle years I still hear their songs.

Bless the little fuckers!

Amen.

(The post above is from a few years ago. I just re-read it, and thought it would be fun to see again.)

"Found!"

I was lost, and now I'm found!!,...at the bottom of the hallway closet." Like I rants further below I was sick as a dog that broke into a hamburger factory on Friday night, and wasn't discovered till the following Tuesday.

Yeah that sick.

It's okay unlike last year this one didn't almost literally kill me. Wow that was fun. Got scrapped off the floor by the EMT's, and stuffed into their blood stained meat wagon for a trip to that most dreaded of places. 

An American Hospital.

Despite that I lived. Turns out it was a normal two day vomiting crappy walking into the wall delirium flu,...that's all.  Anyway being home, and not having to run right back out to work I found my lost dollie  ^..^

That's how it is for Yanks that still have jobs these days.

You're forced to work twice as long or more for the same..or less. Comrades this evil shit is unsustainable. We need to have an actual Revolution or we're good as dead.  I say haul up them gallows, and bang together the guillotines. 

500 blades no waiting you greedy oblivious cruel thieving plutocrats, and your lawyer lackeys, and assorted jackanapes!! Blood for Blood! To the Ramparts!!!

eh...sorry I get carried away.

Ahem what I meant to say is that I found one of my dear lost dolls. Ain't seen her in near a year. Glad she's fine. See what happens when you get to stay in ya own house for more than just sleeping.

Stay tuned.

"World Ends!",...again

"Aw Crap!"

Alert,...Alert!!!! I was just informed that our beloved commie radio station is suspending major operations. This so the staff, and assorted deranged comrades can get the Hell out of Dodge before the latest Storm of the Century blasts the living hell out of the Emerald City.

Me I'm hanging around for the Watery Apocalypse. Might make for an interesting story. Besides I like giving terrifying play by plays on the News. I did that last year during  the "Occupy" riots when they were attacked by the cops. Yep it's da rotten truth. Media folks live for that sort of mayhem.

Anyway we'll see how this one plays out.

"Me out in the World"

"I never liked that big chicken anyway"

Mitt I don't think ya got a handle on that Compassionate Conservative thing yet. Maybe we should start you off on something smaller. Say,...inner city children. Eh no maybe not. Okay how about better tips for the pool boy at the Club,..yeah a good photo op there.

Thing is looks like this chuckle head will be President. Damn we're in for one fucking scary weird ass ride. ...'scuse me while I dust off my "irresponsible teen baby making boozing doper mugging ungrateful minorities race riot handbook." Heck ain't read this since I was a wee lad, and wanted to be a Black Panther. Well that is till I realized that every word out'a their traps was "kill, bitch or faggot". 

Not my kinda club nor is Mitt's.

"Long Live Kitty"

Proposed flag of the new "We want More Time Off Republic"

"Milk, and Honey"

Hail!, and all sorts of creamy Salutations! to "Hello Kitty"(tm)  A Kat of, and for the People!

Well most of 'em.

Eh when we said we wanted "More Time Off" we didn't mean we wanted to be outright fired, laid off, cut back, out-sourced or otherwise kicked out on our starving butts without our crappy job benefits or retirements.

Just so there's no misunderstanding.

"Fevered Times"

 Umm this is long, and not profound. Still what da heck.

Well as for my steamy fever, and aches, and flu pains so far so good. Still have some aches, but I'm keeping stuff down. The good thing about a short sick leave is that I can get stuff done around my cute little house.

Taking more glamor shots of my dolls. I've adopted a number of these swell little folks over the last year, and a bit.  I'm sure you haven't seen them yet,...all six of you. I'll post the snaps soon. I'm sure ya can't wait.

I get two or three views a day, and those are probably web-robots looking to take over this spot.

Aw gee. I remember when I had 200,000+ gleeful perverts putting eye prints all over a now nuked Queer B/L blog of mine.

It was called "Juno", and she lives on in our steamy hearts.

Hum, do you think it was the sensual or to the point somewhat naked folks I used to post all over the place? Nah I'm sure it was my keen insights, and swell sense of ironic humor,..right? Yeah that's why they deleted it.

Anyway instead of my usual polishing washing, and adjusting of my digs while on short sick leave. Two whole daze,..count'em.  Anyway I just read comix books, and tinkered with my toys, and dolls. ...and threw up alot.

Ya know comrades dolls need as much maintenance as real children. Although you don't have to feed them or send them to University. That's the up side. They also don't take your car or use up your credit cards either,...as far as I know.

However the pastry I sneak past my better sense goes missing as does the other guilty treats I let my diabetic self nibble on.

Did I mention sorting through a whole years worth of comixs, and starting on a seriously complicated ship model. Yeah I buy'em, but have no time to read or build them.  'Busy working or sleeping. This is an American thing. 

In the other Democracies I hear things are more humane. Beside National Health they let you have time to live a life outside of work. In other words they aren't run completely by their Corporations,...yet.

It's been  so long since I've gone out anywhere seen pals or messed with my stuff. Editing my writing playing with my dolls, and assorted toys, and  making deranged videos of them. I used to do cute art books as well. I'm thinking of publishing a small book of my ravings, and drawings. It would already be on the remaindered table for $2 bucks if I wasn't trapped having to make a living.

I had actually 'forgotten' how swell all that demented creative stuff is.

Okay we need to have a Revolution to get our lives back.

More later as I print up broadsides, and leaflets for the Grand Struggle ahead!

"It seems we may get a spot of Rain"

The King of Brixton or whatever up there explains to the proles how the world is about to be engulfed by the latest "Storm of the Century". How many of them things can ya have in a hundred years?! I mean we're up to four or five so far.

Aw Crap here we go Again!

Sorry I haven't posted in a long while. I've been down with the first bug of the season. Some sort of yucky flu thing that has one evacuating at both ends. Ya gets the picture. If that ain't enuff the East-coast, and part of the Midwest are going to get slammed  with a giant  storm.

They're calling it a "Frankenstorm". A  perfect mix of early winter air from the north banging face first into a steamy tropical storm from the south,...Look Out!!

The TV is talking hurricane force winds plus heavy rain, snow, ice the works.

Here read this fear mongering from the News Wonks:


"The weather monster that U.S. forecasters call “Frankenstorm” was looking more ominous by the hour for the East Coast on Friday.

Meteorologists expect a natural horror show of high wind, heavy rain, extreme tides and maybe snow beginning early Sunday, peaking with the arrival of Hurricane Sandy on Tuesday.

“It’s looking like a very serious storm that could be historic,” said Jeff Masters, meteorology director of the forecasting service Weather Underground.

With a rare mix of three big merging weather systems over a densely populated region, experts predict at least $1 billion in damage."

Scary shit huh?

Well I'm putting my butt in bed, and it's staying there. If I were you I'd do the same till next Wednesday. Btw I just picked up the DVD of that weird movie "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer". I figure that, and soup tea, and sleep should get me through this latest Apocalypse.

See you on the other side of this mess.

"Obama Blows"

"Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z"

I just got around to watching the whole election debate online.

???????!!!!!!!

What da Fuck is wrong with this guy?
Granted he's a two face lying betraying bastard like Romney, but still.

I suspect like many others that he actually doesn't want the job anymore.
He doesn't 'want' to be re-elected.
He, and the kids wanna go home.

Michell is another mater she wants him to win.
 I'll bet she gave him 'serious' Hell when they got home.

Mind you I stopped caring a few years ago I'm just surprised at how useless he was out there.

Boring uncommitted mumbling.

Basically the same gross disappointment we've all come to know.

"...It ain't over yet"

"...how it usually was"

"How to be Black"

At last a book about my life of trying to get my white friends to stop fucking with us. Like I always sez to them. "You really want to help?!" Then get your redneck kluxer relatives to stop voting Republican!

Well okay it isn't always that bad. Mostly I'm just telling White folks that "Niggas", as young Black folks use the term, is just folks. Like Queer as bloody folks well Darkies if frigg'n folks too!

Is this so hard to take in?!!

Anyway many thanks to Baratunde Thurston for grinding out his swell book about how much fun it is to be Black in this fucked up country.  I hear his next one is about surfing,..???

Stay tuned.