Sunday, November 30, 2014

"The Usual Suspects"

"Blood Stains"

These art pieces which I posted earlier are from my "art book" class at the "92nd Street Y". They serve the duel purpose of just getting me out of the house, and getting to the core of my various emotional traumas.

I think they're self explanatory,...or should be. All of the torments I've lived through, and with, and how it informs, but I hope does not control how I live.

The splatter of blood on the last image is to show just that. That I still live in a world where I believe Angels, and Faeries exist, but my traumas touch them regardless. They don't stop them, but yes they do touch them.

In other words my Dreams such as they are are rooted in the grim reality of the world as it truly is.

Which makes those Dreams so precious.

Stay Tuned. 

"I'm Beautiful Too"

"Chopin in the 'Hood"

"We're People"


Usually the killing of Black people children or adults happens in high summer. So you'll forgive me if I'm somewhat disoriented confused by this wave of executions timing.

Since the Police street execution of the 12 year old boy Tamir Rice there have been six other shootings of Black persons by the Police around the country. I stopped counting after six. Oh it was the usual cause. Petty crimes that if a White had committed them they'd still be alive.

Perhaps having the shit beat out of them, but alive.

Business as usual in underclass America. This is so common it doesn't even get much mention in the Black media anymore.  As I bluntly mentioned earlier the lives of "Niggers" in this Republic ain't worth shit.

Still even now in 2014 with a Black President sitting in office for six years. Actually maybe because of it. I don't know. I take for granted the danger I'm in when I walk the streets or go into a Mall or shop.

It's just the lay of the land. 

Those thousand little cuts you get for walking while Black. People cross the street when they see me even in my old age for fear I'll rob them.

I walk past a car, and I hear the driver lock his door...a thousand time I've heard this. This for fear I'll drop my bags of shopping, and carjack him.

These are just the little humiliations of my everyday life.

I've sometimes wondered what it would be like to be free...actually for real free. That is to walk down a street any street, and not be noticed. Not be that eternal "Other" in American culture.

I picture myself just wandering along perhaps window shopping. Which I can't do. How many times have I forgot for a moment my place, and did just that. Only to have the shop clerk lock the door or put a "Closed" sign up.

This happened routinely over in Greenwich Village, and Soho especially after it went upscale. Again those thousand little cuts. No big deal having your humanity denied. It's not like they tried to lynch me. So I guess just minor affronts like this are actually social progress.

It's just that I'm rather weary of it is all.

That's me above there at about age six or so. I've posted it a few times. This is what I looked like when I was stopped, and taken into custody by the Police. The charge was suspicion of aggravated assault, and robbery.

Look at me. 

Who in their right mind could imagine this little guy could do anything other than maybe suck his thumb. However to the Heat I was a likely assailant.

I was taken to the house of the victim. They asked her to identify me being sure they had their man.  I was lucky. Very very lucky that the lady in question was both thoughtful, and educated. 

A teacher.

If she weren't my life would have taken a turn that I might not have survived. If the Police charged me. I'd have been thrown into the system where I'd have been brutalized in all manner of ways. 

Being raped, and beaten up by the older boys would just be the appetizer of a long frightful Hell.

'But as I say the Angels were with me...even then. The woman the victim of the purse snatching as best I remember said, "...Why have you brought this baby here. What have you done."

Again as best I remember she went on about as how the guy that mugged her was a man or a big teenager.  He was "Colored" though. I guess that was enough for the Cops to haul me in.

I was lucky.

99% of other "Colored" kids ain't. Not then not now.

It's worse now because they just don't beat the shit out of you, and toss you in the system. They execute you on the spot.

On the spot.

Being a kid will not save you because you're not a person not a human, You're one of them Nigger things whose life has no value whatever. 

That's the truth of it, and that's what has to be over come.

As I've said on these pages. Changing laws are the easy part. It's the work of a few generations. However changing Hearts is another matter. That could take centuries, and it still may not work.

Stay Tuned.

Saturday, November 29, 2014


He’s just 12. Twelve. Just a lad a boy that’s all. Just like 12 year old Tamir Rice who was gunned down like a dog by the Police. Executed without that “Shadow of a Doubt” Death Penalty prisoners get at trial.

As I’ve said again, and again if young Tamir were a sandy haired White lad the Officers involved would never have shot him to pieces point blank in a moment as they did.

I think not even those Blue Eyes would have saved him if he had them like this beautiful child does.

Tamir is just another dead Nigger, and that’s that.

That’s all there is to say.


I've noticed that my "View" numbers have nose dived taken a dramatic drop since I'm been posting about our race matters. How about that. If you look at the graph on the upper right you can actually see the plunge.

Yes very interesting that.

Reminds me of how years ago on some of my former Queer blogs there was a decided preference for art, and photos of white boys. A rather pointed preference I saw.  

It troubled me, but I let it go at the time.

The murder of that Black 12 year old boy Tamir Rice by the Police broke something inside me. Maybe 'he' was my last  Spiritual straw. After a lifetime of witnessing such things maybe I just can't bear it anymore.

Oh my what a time we're cursed to be in. Perhaps I should retire from this medium as well. I have been thinking this for some time. 

...yes maybe the time to go has at last come. 

At least for this, and my Queer page. I have thought to start over with another name, and a very different format, and other subjects. Listen this is 'no' plea for comments support or other crap like that. None of that.

I am very very weary bitter sad angry betrayed, and have I think gone as far as I can.

We'll see.

"A Long Hot Winter"

Watch carefully this video of the shooting of a 12 year old Black boy. The cops roll up, and shoot immediately. No chance whatever for the kid. He had a realistic looking toy gun yes. He was seen with it, and the cops called. 

This was the right thing to do.

A person no matter how young with a live pistol is a danger to others. So far so good. The cops roll up...the boy is not brandishing the gun. He's standing there as the car stops. The Cops are barely out of the car, and begin shooting.

It's done.

As I say in a further down post. If the lad had been a rosey cheeked white boy of the same height age, and dressed exactly the same he'd be alive. The policemen in question said the radio told them that a "Black male aged 20 was firing a gun in the air."

Of course that sounds dangerous profoundly so. 

However when getting to the scene, and seeing it was just a kid..., and no gun immediately apparent. Also I say again imagine it was a white 12 year old. Would they have shot him to pieces?


Blacks, especially Black males of any age are regarded in our culture as dangerous. The entertainment, and news medias have taught us this for generations. It doesn't help that young Blacks do commit violent crimes beyond their percentage of society.

It also doesn't help that the vast majority of Black youth do not commit crimes of any kind. Sort of like I was, and am.

As I said if he were a white boy aged 12 with a toy gun that looked real he would have been given the shadow of a doubt. As in all Death Penalty cases. A Shadow of a Doubt would have saved Tamir Rice's life.

He was just a kid playing with a gun with no concept of the danger that would be, He was fucking TWELVE!!!!!!!!!!!. 

A kid playing. 

Yes a dumb dumb move to go outside with a realistic toy pistol, but how could he know that. Kids do stupid things that's how they learn that's how we learned.

Again as I said before if this had happened in a White community with a 12 year old White kid. The cops would have confiscated the toy gun. Then sternly warned him. Taken him home to his parents with more warnings, and that would be it. 

At worse the parents would have been given a desk appearance summons.  That, and maybe some social worker crap thrown in, but that would have been it.

Just that!

Their son their precious baby would be alive. Alive with a weird family story about how he got busted for a cap pistol when he was a kid. It would come up at Thanksgiving dinner every year, and everybody would laugh.

Oh are so full of Shit.

Stay Tuned.

Thursday, November 27, 2014



Warning this is a 'very' Angry post.

The mad blind idiocy of mobs has done it's work again. I will say this again what the Fuck is wrong with Black people. What the fucking hell is wrong with US?!! In our rage we self destructively lash out at even our own. Destroying the property of not just Whites or Asians, but of Blacks as well. 

We do this every time. Madness stupidity gross idiocy.

No the crimes committed against innocent Blacks don't cover this. This is the behavior of mobs. This is simply put CRIMINAL, and can't be excused by anyone. Who will rebuild the businesses of the Black store owners who can't get proper insurance. 

Who will re-build that Church torched by the mob? A damned Church for fucks sakes!!!

Shame! Shame!, and Shame!

Shame compounded by the unjust court ruling. I'm waiting for the professional Black radicals to crawl out from under their rocks to once again call this outrage "crimes of survival"...Damn you, and Bleep You to Hell!

I am so weary I am so angry my heart is so broken. 


Stay Tuned.

( The above reprinted from my Facebook page.)

Wednesday, November 26, 2014


The Holidaze cause nothing, but cold lonely anguish. I despise them with all my heart. They are a blight, and curse upon us. All of it based on lies false assumptions, and greed.

'Am I getting through here?

Are our crappy lives not hard enough? Is this era of loss of freedoms, and security not grim enough? Must we have these micron thin days of dishonest joy insincere glee, and huge credit card bills as well?!

Abolish the lot all of it, and leave us the Hell Alone!!

Of course I mean all this in a nice way.

Stay Tuned.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014


All the other colors matter too. Still am I getting through to anybody out there? Please stop shooting us. Why can't you just go back to beating us with rubber hoses.

Not fun true.

Sure getting beat black, and blue...excuse the expression. Getting the crap beat out'a ya is no blow job while on speed balls, and whiskey. It ain't that, but at least ya still alive to sue the bastards.

Aw man this shit gives me gas!

Stay Tuned.

"...could never get that"

Well here we are again. The Great American tradition of the Race Riot. Back in the day when I was a kid they happened every summer like clockwork. Not so much now. We have so many other far more important distractions.

Like which multimillionaire moron is fucking which other rich air head. ...and does their spouse know about it? That crap sells $Billions in newsprint, and supports a major part of the electronic media. 'But hey whose counting.

As with that Earthquake I slept through I missed out on the red hot violent mayhem that always happens when cops that shoot unarmed Black guys go free. It's even worse when the victim in question is innocent unlike our latest hero that bit the dust.

The youth was no Angel. By accounts he was just another bully. He sure acted the part when he gave the clerk in that deli shit, and lifted some cigars for laffs.

Still it was a hard judgment on the guy. At most he should have been given a summons for a desk appearance for his bit of nastiness at that candy store. Certainly he didn't deserve the Death Penalty while surrendering. That, and left in the gutter for hours to make the point.

What point?

A Nigger's life, innocent or guilty ain't worth shit.

As I said in an earlier post about the Black 12 year old boy shot by cops because they thought the toy gun he had was real. 

Here's my quote...

"...Black history with law enforcement forces me to ask this. What if this lad...again very clearly a young boy, and not as I just said a person that could be dangerous."

"What if this kid were white sandy haired blue eyed, and with freckles."

"Would 'that' have given him at least a 'chance' of survival?  A second thought just a moment's worth? A Shadow of Doubt as they say when trying a Death Penalty Case."

"Would that moment have spared the kid?"

Same with this youngster. "A Shadow of a Doubt". That's all we're asking for. Guilty or innocent give a moment's thought just a moment before carrying out a Death Sentence. 

Also as I said before a Police Person's job is hard extremely dangerous, and near completely thankless. A split second decision is all that stands between a Cop going home to his or her family or getting an official funeral with all the trimmings

I sure as hell don't want the job.

It takes extraordinary persons to be on the Force, and carry the power of life, and death. The pity is most law enforcement folks are just like you, and me. With all the fears false assumptions bigotries, and resentments that we all carry around.

The big difference is 'we' on the whole don't carry guns. We also aren't from a work environment that says Niggers is trouble shoot first, and sort it out later.

This is why my comparison of White kids with Blacks their same age will never work. A white cop will never, and can 'never' by the rules of the street ever see a Black youth potentially innocent as a White youngster.

There we are,...again.

That basic shit sums up this whole awful shebang.

Btw I could go into detail on the gross insane violent stupidity of burning down where you live to get at folks that live far away.

Never did get that. 

So till next time an unarmed Black kid is shot dead you be careful, and watch ya back.

Stay Tuned. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

"The Long Haul"

 A 12-year-old boy in Cleveland died Sunday, a day after being shot by police who mistakenly believed he had a real gun, officials said.

The Cuyahoga County medical examiner identified the boy as Tamir Rice. An attorney for his family, Timothy Kucharski, said the boy went to the park with friends Saturday afternoon, but he did not know the details of what led to the shooting.

The incident began Saturday afternoon at a local rec center, when witnesses reported a male was in the playground area waving a gun and pointing it at people.
A man who called 911 told dispatchers the boy was on a swing set and pointing a pistol that was "probably fake" and scaring everyone.
The caller said the boy was pulling the gun in and out of his pants.
"I don't know if it's real or not," the caller said.  (

When I was a lad the age of the boy killed by the police I played with toy guns in public. Much of my generation of boys did. As I recall they were realistic replica pistols rifles, and such.

Most were cowboy hardware. My favorite was the Mattel "Fanner Fifty". Which was an exact metal replica of the U.S. Navy Colt of the 1850's. Known better as the historic "Six Shooter" of the Old Western mythology.

My friends, and I so armed played cowboys, and bad guys on the streets, and parks of late 1950's, and early 60's Brooklyn, and Queens. Boys like us did the same all over the country then. 

I imagine going to a playground with the above today would be a death sentence. This is how we've changed in just 40 to 50 years. Back in the early 1980's laws were made to have toy guns colored in bright orange. This because exact replica toy pistols were being used in robberies, and assaults.

Even I had to admit this was called for.

Being a Police Person is a hard dangerous, and thankless job. You have to make split second decisions of life, and death. Sometimes you make a mistake. Mind you I speak here of those Police officers that truly uphold the law, and have as their goal the protection of the innocent.

This as opposed to the other sort we know of so well that abuse, and outright murder.

Which sort of cops were involved in this case we don't know yet. If I were one of the Cops involved in this case I'd be in Hell right now. Having killed a kid that was just playing. If the cops in question on the other hand are of the other sort...well.

No point going into the history of Cops, and Black males of 'any' age. We are already very painfully aware of that sad story. It keeps going on, and on.

I guess bottom line is that it takes an extraordinary sort to be given the responsibility of being a Police Person today or at any time. I say "Extraordinary", and not merely a "line grunt" as with soldiers in war.

A Grunt's job is battle is relatively simple. "There's the enemy...kill him." The "enemy" is as trained as motivated as you, and usually just as heavily armed.  A police person's job is far far more complex. So it would indeed take a person of extreme skills to be one.

Sadly such persons are rare.

Even more scarce now that the Police forces all over our country have been militarized. That, and the "Grunt" mentality such encourages has taken hold. This state of affairs is tragic beyond words.

Was the kid foolish to play with a realistic pistol in a public place,...yes! 

I sure as hell would not have done it. Then I'm an adult with an awareness of consequences, and a knowledge of the grave state of our culture in the so-called "Age of Terror".

This boy was no different than I was so long ago. He was 'just' playing. Playing with no understanding of the profound danger he was putting himself, and other in.

Again that split second decision.

What told the officers involved that this person clearly a child. Not an adult not a hefty teen not a deranged drunk or junkie. What told them that this required deadly force. They say he reached for the gun. If so that added to the tragedy to come.

However I have to ask. Black history with law enforcement forces me to ask this. What if this lad...again very clearly a young boy, and not as I just said a person that could be dangerous. 

What if this kid were white sandy haired blue eyed, and with freckles.  

What if he looked like he could have stepped out of a 1935 cover of the "Saturday Evening Post" as illustrated by Norman Rockwell. Would 'that' have given him at least a 'chance' of survival?  A second thought just a moment's worth? A shadow of doubt as they say when trying a Death Penalty Case.

Would that moment have spared the kid?

Would he have been given a warning? The dangerous toy confiscated, and the lad taken home to his parents. That, and the boy's grateful folks thanking the officers for their thoughtful forbearance?

Perhaps one day.

Social advancement is very slow. Changing laws is the easy part. Real easy. Only takes a few generations, maybe a century sometimes. However changing Hearts calming fears enlightening ignorance. Well that's another matter. For that we're in for the long haul.

Peace to you all.

Stay tuned.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

"Broadcast Newz"

Above are some snaps of my former office at back in the day. I think these were shot maybe a month before 9/11. We're about five blocks away from what would become the crater of destruction here.

The top two images are of my office when I ran Operations for the station. The bottom one is of the Memorial board. We'd put up photos, and copy of our departed co-workers there.

I just found some old pictures of my time in the Biz. Above are some of my dear pals from my years on, and around the "Air". They shall go nameless here to hide their shame!

Whadda bunch!

Stay Tuned.

"Kat Dreams"

"Don't Rush Me Dammit!"

Saturday, November 22, 2014


"The West is Red"

We're in the Red indeed just look at the national checkbook. The way things are going I'm looking forward to our pals the Chinese to call in their paper on us. For whatever reason our owners sold Trillions of bucks worth of our insanely huge debt to our former deadly enemy.

Btw when 'did' these guys become our "Former" Deadly Enemy, and our Loan Sharks instead. I really don't remember seeing that one on the news.

Well anyway what's done is done.

Our fucking balls are now owned by the guys we fought tooth, and nail bayonet to bayonet with all over the damned Korean Peninsula. Look up the Korean War kiddies makes for interesting reading.

Btw I suggest a swell war film of that era,..."Pork Chop Hill".

Some seriously wild shit in there involving our current loan sharks. It's on DVD maybe online. Comrades that was a for real War that killed over a Million folks!

I have lived long enough for an entire War, and all the social studies Mayhem that goes with it to be Completely, and Absolutely Forgotten!

Fucking Gawd Damned Amazing!!

However as I say I still look forward to life under our formerly Red Overlords. For one they'll rebuild our aged wrecked infrastructure. Set us up with a bunch of them swell high speed trains. 

Everybody will get work for years to come rebuilding basically 'everything' in this rusty beat up gawd forsaken Republic, and we'll get the guaranteed free lunch. 

That swell action is in the Chinese constitution. Also it's one of the few things them guys came through on for their people. So I think we may get a taste too!  

All in all not bad for being the slaves of the New Emperors of Heaven or whatever the hell our new bosses call themselves these days.

Well okay the down side is you'll be shot for Jay Walking, and reading the wrong poetry stuff like that, but otherwise it looks like a good deal.

I'll have Won Ton Soup, and a Beef'n Seaweed to go Comrade! 

Stay tuned.