Wednesday, January 28, 2015

"Whipped Cream!"


"Howling!"


(The Dept. of Toy Trucks sent over a plow to clear snow off my A.C.)

I was awakened by the sound of the winds. I thought it was snowplows so harsh, and loud it was. It's 18f out. I'm anxious, and confused this morning so I took a double dose of my nut-house medication.

Does this mean I'm doubly  nuts?

Maybe I should see one of those VooDoo doctors that are around these days. Perhaps they'll prescribe a bag of "Majik Bones" or something. I have to go out later. Still need to get to the 'Department of Old Farts". Perhaps I'll take a few pictures of the mostly non-blizzard of 2015.

Manhattan didn't get much though Brooklyn got a foot or so with drifts. Not much of an Arctic Apocalypse. However the further east you go the more snow. Long Island was buried...period.


Just as well it turned out for most to be just a regular storm. What they had predicted would have been a "Sandy"-like life taker. Imagine being forced out of your house in zero degree temps.  Well still the second half of winter to go.

I'll be back this evening.

Btw as I type the wind is seriously howling! If you're nearby dress in layers!



Stay Tuned.






Monday, January 26, 2015

"Oh, it's Foul!"



"KING LEAR"

Scene III  Act II

 LEAR
Blow, winds! Blow until your cheeks crack! Rage on, blow! Let tornadoes spew water until the steeples of our churches and the weathervanes are all drowned. Let quick sulfurous lightning, strong enough to split enormous trees, singe the white hair on my head. Let thunder flatten the spherical world, crack open all the molds from which nature forms human beings, and spill all the seeds from which ungrateful humans grow!

Let thunder rumble! Let lightning spit fire! Let the rain spray! The rain, the wind, the thunder and lightning are not my daughters. Nature, I don’t accuse your weather of unkindness. I never gave you a kingdom or raised you as my child, and you don’t owe me any obedience. So go ahead and have your terrifying fun. Here I am, your slave—a poor, sick, weak, hated old man. But I can still accuse you of kowtowing, taking my daughters' side against me, ancient as I am. Oh, it’s foul!

Our Hero Mayor Bill de Blasio in "Lear-like" bewilderment faces the Great Storm that assaults the Emerald City! He uses all the might he can muster from his host of civil servants.
His City will Not be laid low by the g-ds of the Four Winds. He will Battle them to the End!


Stay Tuned. 


"SNOW DAZE"



 "Bob the Bunny" just back from Russia went out into the early part of the Blizzard. Sez Bob, "Blizzard? Gimme a break in Russia this would be a Beach Day."

Bob went out to get some rolling paper, and some Nickle bags to get him through the storm.
Well also several pounds of Cookies Ring Dings Twinkies several gallons of ice cream, and the box DVD set of the series "Black List".

He loves that show.

He sez it reminds him of his days in the "Company".

 Bob, and I may go out for our daily constitutional about the 'Hood during the height of the storm.
Then again we may just stay in get blitzed, and eat ice cream.

"Shadows"


Snow Spirits. These beings live within the chill of frozen air, and ice crystals. They often assume the shapes of wolves bears shimmering light or sometimes the likeness of their cousins the forest faeries.

Civilization is far too hot for them to survive in except for times like these. These rare events when wind snow, and ice overwhelm even the machines of men

Then they come.

They come to the hearts of our cities to explore, and learn. As in tales of old they also give enchantments to the kindly they very young, and the very old.

Their time with us is very brief.

So if you watch carefully in these next hours you may see their shadows.



Stay Tuned.

 



"Looks Like Snow"


Okay it's Snow Porn on all the local channels here in the Emerald City. Everybody has their eyes bugging out, and is drooling all over the place telling how this is the final Arctic Apocalypse!

"Yes Polar Bears will be shredding alive the last frost bitten ragged survivors of this Mega Storm!!"

Well what the hell...

We were due for some shit like this. Haven't had a big on here in several years. Though we ducked that upstate 100 inch "Climate Change" early winter Super Storm. Looks like now we pay the piper.

Me I have to be at the Department of Old Farts downtown on Tuesday morning. Which these hysterics on TV tell me will be at the height of the Blizzard of the Century as it's already being called.

Get this...they say there's another right behind this one developing.

Humm... I should stock up on Crack Porn, and Whiskey while I can.


Sez our hero Mayor Bill de Blasio, "....Well according to this looks like we're well, and truly Fucked." 

"If you have any sense you'll leave Dodge or kiss ya Butts goodbye."

"If you need me I'll be in the Bunker watching "Dr. Who" DVD's, and eating pizza."


Stay Tuned.

 

Sunday, January 25, 2015

"NAKED PERSON"


I thought this might help the sagging numbers. No it's not a boy, but then I don't want to get deleted...again.

"Obama Tells Teaparty GOP to Shove it"


As has become typical of far right wing Republican party members of Congress they heckled the President. This may be cool in the British Parliament, but it hasn't happened here since the Civil War.

The continuous disrespect, and sometimes open racist outbursts from this mob is a National disgrace.

Well the other night in a calm dignified way The President of the United States of America told them to go Fuck themselves, and their Mama's. Though not is so many words...ahem.

Stay Tuned.

"Snow Daze"


Greetings dear Comrades. I'm feeling a bit better. Wow flu is a serious trip. Good grief. I'm making Veggie soup with whatever I can find in the kitchen. I haven't shopped for the whole week I was in bed.

Amazing how odds, and ends can make a healthy meal. Indeed I truly need a Mrs. Hudson to take care of me. The house is a mess. You know how things get when you're really knocked off ya feet.

Things stay where they're dropped.

I got a letter from the "Department of Old Farts". They want to know if I'm still alive. Also They want me to go over there to prove it. Fine I could do with the company. I have to reschedule the Dentist, and Shrink appointments anyway.

I was too knocked out to go anywhere so missed them.

Btw we had a touch of Snow this morning. See above pic taken by my Niece. It was all washed away by rain a few hours later. Not much Snow in town this year...just as well I don't think I could navigate it these daze.

Still I do kinda miss it.

During the week a pal emailed me an article on what ISIS is doing in Iraq. Bad...really bad. They're stoning women blowing up schools beheading folks, and throwing Queers off the roofs of High-Risers.

There's pictures of this in the piece as well. 

Should I publish that?

I haven't decided...maybe on my Queer page. I donno. If there were internet during the Holocaust would people publish the smuggled out images?  Did they publish the Genocides in the Balkans Rwanda?

What a frightful time this is.

Work for Peace Kindness Forgiveness, and Justice.

I'll be back in a little while.


Stay Tuned.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

"MOSCOW CALLS"



Up, and about this evening. I'm starting to feel better. That awful Flu had me under for over a week...not good. Cooking a Veggie/Chicken stew in the Crock-Pot. I love them things. You just shove all the fixings into it, and leave.

Perfect!

It even tastes mostly like food when it's done. I'd take a picture, but it looks too gross. Point is it's hot food which I need.

As I mentioned "Bob the Bunny", and I have a sort of "Holmes, & Watson" relationship. He goes out into the world, and creates mayhem, and I write about it. Only person missing is "Mrs. Hudson". We could seriously use a lady of her fortitude to look after us. Anyway I sure could.

Btw there's Bob in Moscow.

The other evening as he was walking out the door he said, "...Moscow Calls. Be back when the smoke clears."

???!!!!

Well I'll tell the tale when he gets back till then...


Stay Tuned.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

"Colors"




Greeting Comrades. Sorry I haven't been posting much. A lot of Archive stuff'n all. Been down with the Flu for daze! Hopefully I ought to be all peachy by the weekend...loves ya all...well mostly.

Stay Tuned.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

"Michael's Heavens",... from the Achives.


Michael Jackson relaxes with his new friends in "Old Lady" Heaven. He was sent there in exasperation by the "Divine Personnel Dispatch Bureau" They had originally sent him to Hell which Mr. Jackson thought was Heaven.

Artists often make this mistake.

He was eventually found at a demonic radio station where he was producing concerts for Wagner, and that guy that invented the tuba. Michael was stashed in Limbo to cover up this "faux pas" , but he wandered out, and came back to Earth.

He was found again this time in Central Park playing the accordion, and singing for coins, and ham sandwiches.

Loose souls are embarrassing. Ghosts, and all that.

The Management prefers an orderly afterlife for it's clients. Having the dead show up freaking folks out is frowned on. This sort of thing affects promotions, and funding in the Celestial Bureaucracy.

Anyway they tried stuffing Mike into the Queer Heaven, but it was too crowded. Then file clerk, and high school teacher Purgatory.

Same problem.

The aborted embryo nursery,...too weird even for Mr. Jackson.

They even tried settling Michael in the G-d, and G-ddess Reservation. This is where most celebrities, and g-ds from forgotten or unpopular religions end up. However too many people are 'still' praying to Mr. Jackson.

This made a lot of the inmates at the Reservation really jealous.

Sooo, Old Ladies Heaven it is till upper Management can figure this one out. Michael did ask to try out Dog Heaven, but was turned down,..for now.

More on this breaking story as developments warrant.

Stay Tuned.

"Guest Editorial From Bodmin",...from the Archives.













"THE CAT QUESTION"

As for cats, after living with five over thirty years, I do consider myself a bit of an expert on them. Unlike what many people believe, cats are social animals, and enjoy human company, (they accept you as a large and eccentric cat) one of their own species.

I know many people who work at home who report that their cat prefers to sleep in their office or studio during the day when they are working there, for the company - which is nicely complementary for your reason for wanting a cat, to have a living thing around as a companion.

If you are out a lot, then it may be better to have two cats, which can keep each other company, or amused, while you are out - and certainly you have to make sure when you do come in that they get attention, groomed, played with, and given a lap to sit on if they are into that.


Cats are adaptable; if they have not been born and raised feral, and particularly if spayed or neutered (and they should be, to keep down the population) they don't mind being indoors.

If you have a farm in the country, fine, they go out to amuse themselves, but cities are too dangerous.

What matters most to them is that they have one or two meals a day, a clean water bowl, AND A CLEAN PLACE TO SHIT.

(You have to keep it clean. Daily.)

Beyond those necessities, a scratching post is advisable (ideally next to where they are fed, which allows you to train them to it by putting a tiny bit of food in the bowl each time they use it), and they love having kitchen counters, cabinets, bookshelves, televisions, computer monitors, windowsills, etc, to jump up on to watch you, or to sleep on.

(Windowsills also allow them to keep an eye on the outside world too).


Radiators are nice to sleep under in winter months. They can be quite happy indoors, even in two or three room apartments.

Cats are not people. They are what they are: sentient animals certainly, each with its own catonality. They will bond to you, and you to them. But again: they are not people.

Bodmin

"Doll Heist"...from our Archives



In the interest of spreading joy, and happiness to the mass's. Uncle Sydney, and pals have planned a revolutionary doll expropriation.


In short the proletariat deserve decent toys.

The following is a rough transcript of a conversation between this reporter, and our Dear Uncle. For the purposes of security, but mostly because Uncle said he'd "bust a cap up my lame butt!!" I shall refrain from spilling the beans on where our esteemed Uncle is holded up.


Uncle begins,.."See me, and the boys plans to knock over a particular doll factory in north Jersey, right." We'd scoped it out awhile back. So we knows they gots da goods we wants."

"Well, the plan is to bust in there disguised as the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers. The historical angle, cute huh."

"Anyway we know the Feds has targeted the joint for a "swoop'n scoop!"

"You know bag the workers, and send'em back to Mexico."

"This after them guys had paid off these bastards to leave'em be. Ha! Well them cossacks took the dough alright, but plans to scoop 'em up anyhow."




"Crap like that burns me up!"




Well through our connections with the Buddhist Mafia, and the Catholic Worker we got all the folks at the factory 100% legal fool proof phony Green Cards! So they're okay.

The gringo federales won't be able to say bleep to 'em!

"We also gave the comrade workers free tickets to the "Wonder Wheel" at Coney Island. Nice huh?"

"Anyhow with the co-operation of the locals secured, them green cards, we'll load up our trucks with top'a the line dollies. You name it, 1st class "Barbies" with all the trimmings!"

"We'll be boosting classic "Betsey Wetsey" dolls, them hard to get "Gay Bert'n Ernie" upper west side doll sets, and playhouse. Plus assorted big ticket nick knacks that prole kids can only dream of."

"After the heist we'll hit all the ghettos, and trailer parks with the goods. Passing out swell dollies to exploited, and oppressed kids as we go!"

"I can see the headline now,.."TERRORISTS DOLL UP GHETTO!",...Homeland Security Baffled!"

At this point in the interview "Lost" was coming on so Comrade Uncle threw me out of his office, and ordered pizza.


Stay Tuned.

(This was first posted sometime about 2006 or so.)

"It Just Doesn't Stop"





Officers from a South Florida police department are drawing fire after getting caught using photos of real-life suspects for target practice.

Critics told NBC South Florida, which first reported the controversy, that the North Miami Beach cops are racially insensitive because the six mug shots used at the firing range feature only African-American suspects.

 A Florida National Guard member arrived at the shooting range on a Saturday last month for training and recognized her brother's 15-year-old booking photo among the bullet-riddled targets left behind by North Miami Beach police officers.

Police Chief Scott Dennis told NBC South Florida that officers used poor judgment. No one would be punished, however, Dennis said.

The misstep was reminiscent of a flap in 2013 over a Port Canaveral, Florida police sergeant who was fired for distributing targets of Trayvon Martin for shooting practice. Martin was the 17-year-old unarmed teenager who was followed and fatally shot by George Zimmerman in February 2012.

We talked about "Kindness as a Revolutionary Act" below. Well it is, but sometimes it's not easy. Forgiveness, and an open Hearted attitude towards those that despise you even want to kill you.

Indeed Kill you with a clear conscience.

That calls for Saintly strength, and wisdom, but can be done. There's tons of books from all Faiths that try to tell us how, but in the end it's just us. Us finding that unnameable spark within us.

Yeah New Age pseudo Christian Sufi double talk.

How the heck do you find space in your Heart for those that would enjoy your violent Death. Hey don't look at me...I'm just asking the question. However there seem to be folks that can.

For me the best I can do is clear my mind...and just do it.

It's like I used to say in my Preacher days. 

 "Forgive the jerks."

"Sure you'd like to kick their Butt into next Tuesday. Forgive'em anyway."

"...and do it Now."

"Your Heart will catch with it later."


Stay Tuned.
 

"Kindness"


Things have gotten so harsh, and cruel that Kindness is now a Revolutionary Act.

Hakim Bey

"Bob the Bunny Seasonal Recap"


I've been posting the adventures of "Bob the Bunny" mostly on my Facebook pages. However for those that care here's what our Hero has been up to this season.

Above are snapshots from Christmas, and News Years. The bottom pix has Bob wandering Times Square Blitzed on Angel Dust Vodka, and Crack. He was found a week later in an air vent of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.


Above are stills from the "History Channel" special "Bob the Bunny" hosted about the contribution of Rabbits in the WW2 air war against the Axis. Bob flew with the "Pink Tails". 

This is similar to the "Red Tails" flown by African Americans. Both groups were in racially, and species segregated units.




Above is Bob covering the amazing "Mexico City Mega-Blizzard" for the BBC. One day it was 86f, and humid then the skies opened up. The temperature fell to 20f, and wind blasted snow began to fall. 8 feet with drifts up to 25 before it ended. 

This Climate Change disaster did more to cripple the Drug Cartels that 20 years of U.S., and Mexican police action.


Here's our Hero Bob on the International Space Station after his rescue from them Saucer guys. This is not the first time Bob or your esteemed editor has been abducted by these fucking rat bleeping bastards.

I tell ya there ain't nothing nice about them guys...I ain't met one yet with a sense of humor or an understanding of what plumbing is which makes for a messy flight.

'But I digress.

The circumstances of Bobs abduction as well as mine, and everybody elses is 'sealed' due to that rotten "Treaty of Death Valley" the U.N. was forced to sign back in '52.  We gave the store away with that one. Them bastards can fuck us all they like, and we can't do or say shit!!

I say shove a few 500 Megaton War-heads up their skinny grey butts in that fortress they got on the far side of the Moon. Try phoning home without an Ass ya evil Hell spawn!!

Again I digress.

Bob returned to Earth, and after yet another rectal exam was released back to his normal life.



Below is Bob on his way back to his digs after his latest Alien Abduction. Naturally his Insurance don't cover bleep...neither did mine.



Below is Bob on his first post-abduction Press assignment. The Ukrainian War. He chose it. Said Bob the Bunny, "...I wanted to be somewhere safe, and after getting space reamed again this looked just the spot.


Returning to his Brooklyn digs where he rooms with me your faithful servant. Bob tries to relax. Here you see him ambling about the 'Hood.



"Katy's" Bob's favorite Candy Store. One of the last of it's breed. Yep hardly one like "Katy's" left after the ravages of the Economic Chaos the 1% caused.  That Nightmare has blighted the once Great Emerald City.

'But still...

Dear old "Katy's" though banged about, and in need of a good paint job is what thousands of such swell institution used to be. 

She has 'everything'. Rolling papers first class Nickle Bags of Ganja comics...none of that "Japlish" demented Nipponese stuff, but for real all American comics like ya supposed to have.


Real candy with tons of sugar in it like gawd intended. She's got smokes bongs toys crap for school kid newspapers'n 'zines in every language soft core porn ac, and dc  bootleg games'n DVD's. Also assorted stuff for computers, and iPhones.

Bolivian Magic Charms, and Alien Technology junk in the back.

'Matter of fact if she ain't got it she just makes a call'n you get ya merchandise within the hour. 


That came in handy when Bob was a part-time "Catholic Buddhist Voodoo Holy Boy Priest". I mean Turquoise Poppies, and Sky Blue Mushrooms ain't easy to come by.

(The shop is open 24/7 except for Shabbos Friday evening, and Saturday. Also of course all the regular Jewish'n Rosicrucian Holidaze.)


Ah! Brooklyn. The City of Artists.


...well now ya up to speed with the Adventures of "Bob da Bunny". Didn't cost you a dime neither. Hey we aims to please.


Stay tuned.