Saturday, March 29, 2014
Well after all my swell, and exciting medical adventures I'm going to sleep for a few days. That, and enjoy my new diet of Bugs Bunny food. Carrots, and lettuce.
Well that, and mineral water.
No more jugs of root beer or Cokes for ya ol' Uncle. Well okay dim sum is still good. There's this Vietnamese place I know that serves up a real healthy dish. I guess I'll be scarfing their stuff down for a while.
Btw go see that new flick "Noah".
It's not as fucked up as the coming attractions led most to believe. 'Course "gawd" comes off as the heartless murdering butthole that He is..still it was a swell movie.
I gives it four "severed fingers" for at least giving it a good try.
That's what mine are apparently doing...my kidneys that is. They're leaking protein.
Good fucking grief!
I've been going through a medical whirlwind for the last several days. I've been getting poked, and prodded till the cows come home. Seems my dear sister, and my doctor a swell gal Dr. Chan...she looks like my aunt Sybil. Seems these two got it into their heads to save my life...I told them don't bother.
They went, and did it anyway.
The good news is I don't need dialysis, and I'm not going blind my heart is ticking along okay as well. They got to me in time. After years of not treating my diabetes shit was finally hitting the fan. I couldn't barely walk my vision was clouding shooting pains all that swell stuff.
So now I'm under serious care with tons of meds. I even have that thing that you prick ya finger with to get your sugar levels. I have no idea how the damned thing works, but I'll figure it out.
Oh yeah... I'm now officially destitute which means I get the works. The government gravy train only the very wealthy, and the seriously poor get. When I had a job there was no chance in hell of getting shit. So it's the SSI cornucopia of meds, and assorted goodies for me...eventually. This shit takes a few months to set up.
Bottom line looks like I don't get to die anytime soon. The down side is getting poked, and stuck with sharp needles a lot, and taking all shorts of pills from now on.
BTW all this is happening in Chinatown...long story there.
Anyway all my doctors are China born ladies. I loves'em. They're seriously cool, and actually care what happens to you. They all look like my relatives too. I like China town. As ya knows my Grandma was Chinese my mother spoke Chinese at home. So I feel safe, and at home down there.
There's odd moments though.
I went for my heavy duty eye exam to see if I was going blind...that would'a been a bummer. Well I goes over to the place on Canal, and Bowery. I goes in, and there's 100 little old Chinese ladies in the waiting room all yakking various dialects of Chinese. So there I am this big apparent black guy with all these old dragon ladies.
Well we got on just fine thanks.
The moral of the story is don't let serious shit get out'a hand.
I'm on a serious health journey that's going to take a while to stabilize. but if I take the damned meds, and do the new dietary thing I get to live to do more stupid radio shows, and blogs that nobody reads.
What could be better than that?
One more thing. My Doctor, Dr. Chan is cleared by the Secret Service to in an emergency treat elected officials...including you know who.
(Here's my "China Connection" I posted this a while ago. Let's see it again.)
Saturday, March 22, 2014
I wish I were a boy today. A 21st Century Queer Sissy teen. As opposed to the mid-20th century Sissy I was. 'Had to hide everything in those days. It was no fun. Everyone around you was telling fags jokes, and saying how much they'd like to 'kill' some fags.
Swell fun being a Queer kid or Queer anything back then.
It's no blow-job in the park today either, but at least you know your not alone. That, and it's slowly becoming bad manners to kill fags these days. Actually that's not much of a shield, but you take what you can get in a world like this.
Anyway Queer young boys, and teens today feel free enough to dress up. I ran into a few the other day in my hood. They we're just going about their faggy way at peace with the world, and on the whole everyone was cool with them.
Okay there 'have' been a few positive changes.
Being a homophobe is bad manners now like being racist. However Blacks still get beat up, and killed now, and then. Queer kids, and teens still get shot dead in middle school or high school.
However when it happens society is horrified instead of celebrating,...at least outwardly. So in my relative old age I've lived into an era of surface change. My Queer kiddie, and teen brothers, and sisters may just see real acceptance in 'their' old age.
Anyway as I started to say if I was a Queer Sissy kid or teen today I think I'd dress up pretty grand. Like Quentin Crisp did nearly a century ago. He, and the other brave Fags of that time were the real Heroes of this Revolution.
Long may they Swish!
Saint Quentin Crisp above as a young Gay Blade about London in the 1930's. What a guy! Our Hero! ...Yeah yeah he wasn't perfect. He was no Angel, but so what.
Ya get your Heroes where you can, and he was more than good enough!
I donno maybe it's just me. Yeah maybe. It's just that everything looks pretty fucked up these days ya know. The standard of living here in the land of the not so free anymore is in free fall,...and 'nothing' is being done.
Yeah sure there was that Occupy thing for a while, but the Heat broke that up, and the kids scattered. So much for that. It's like the bad guys have won, and are dancing on our graves.
Sorry wish I could say something hopeful, but there ain't much hope for renewal out there. The good guys such as they are have been marginalized. The butt of jokes in the controlled press. All we're getting are more "reality" show bullshit, and really bad music that keeps getting awards.
It's bad. It's Biblical bad. The money changers have won, and are pissing on the scriptures, and shitting on the altars. All that, and no one sez nothing.
Back in the day I'd be expecting a Flood or a hail of Fire from the outraged Heavens. However Upper Management has left us to our own devices this time 'round. We have to fix this ourselves.
Where to begin...what to do?
First some business. Hey I understand. See I don't post everyday like I used to so there are very few of you guys out there now. Thing is as I think I mentioned. I'm moving to other digs so there's been a disruption of my online life...such as it is.
'Course I could start posting naked people again. This would get the numbers back up to near a half million. It would also get me deleted in two seconds so there we are.
Anyway thanks to you swell folks that keep coming back anyway just to see if I've done anything. You will all be getting beach front properties in Paradise for that. The rest of you are in for a Hot Time...get the picture?
Right that's out of the way.
Me I'm stocking up on spam toilet paper, and shotgun shells as WW-FUCKING-THREE is on the way thanks to that Putin maniac. Where are them "Lone Gunmen" when ya needs them?!
Why doesn't someone put a bunch of bullets in that demented Nazi homophobes head, and or butt! Here we are on the bleeping centennial of WW-ONE! The war in which single battles ate up to a million grunts.
Christs sakes didn't any of them Russian lunatics ever read the "Guns of August"?!! Google it for heavens sakes you'll get an eye full I guarantee you!
There must be one or two Russian vets of that gigantic slaughter still hanging around. Ask them to tell ya what happened, and pay close attention when they do!!
I can't believe this is happening. Putin as they are saying now is a 19th century autocrat with 21st century hardware on tap. Not a good mix. Not even a little bit. Granted our President Mr. Invisible is no winner in this by a long shot.
I can see the whole shebang the whole frigging stupid world stumble into a big ass apocalypse just like last time in 1914. Hey am I the only one that sees what's coming that hears what's rattling in the damned pipeline?!!
I hear them morons over there are shooting at each other now...swell just bleeping swell!
Aw man I'm digging a seriously deep hole, and pulling it closed over me for the duration. I'm packing up all the beans spam Hershey bars, and porn I can find to keep me going during the post-atomic horror to come!
Of course I mean all this in a 'nice' way.
Friday, March 21, 2014
The "City Dept. of Old Farts" thinks I'm nuts so sent me to a Shrink. This while deciding which Geriatric Gulag to deport me to. The doc' is a thirty-something with turquoise hair, and 1980's jewelry.
She asks how I feel.
"Swell" sez I.
" I haven't foamed at the mouth or shit my self in weeks now."
"Although I just had a dream where I was being chased down the street by my bed springs."
She takes notes nodding calmly.
Ms. Turquoise wanted to know what sort of meds I'm on, and if they're effective.
"A bunch, and more or less."
"I mean it stops me from jumping out of windows or slashing my wrists,...again."
She lifts an eyebrow,..."Again?"
I show junior my scars from various boyhood attempts. What a mess. I never got it right. Sure I learned how later, but won't tell you as a public service.
It was about this time them floating Naked Angel Boys clutching teddy bears showed up again. They came through the wall above the shrink.
I decided not to mention them.
I'm asked if I've ever had "urges of violence?"
The Angels start jerking off over me.
"Violence..sure. I mostly dream of kicking the bloody crap out'a bullies Tea Party hacks the IRS homophobes, and them butt-holes that make that disgusting sound with their teeth, and tongue."
I warm to the subject by going into medieval detail. Vats of acid piano wire wood chippers heavy objects dropped from great height. That whole "Wile-e-Coyote" routine.
It starts raining Angel jizz.
I think I scared her with all this because her eyes began darting to the door which them Angels were departing through.
...if she saw them she didn't let on.
Anyway I asks if she could do me a solid, and slip me some medical dope or a few hits of morphine.
Love's that Morphine!
She changes the subject wanting to know if I was abused as a kid. Gimme a break what kind'a question is that.
"You kidding who wasn't?"
"It was like the worse parts of the Bible. You want details watch "Jerry Springer."
I mentions how I could use a pastrami hero about now. She looks up from her notes, and sez, "...you associate your memories of abuse with food?"
I tell her I was hungry all the time as a kid, and not just for food. It was a childhood Apocalypse. I mean what with getting beat up terrorized robbed, and humiliated everywhere all the time.
I decided to turn the tables,...I do this to shrinks.
"What's the worse thing that's ever happened to 'you'?"
A pause then she sez,...
"I was raped"
Christ on a blind pony.
'This' is the worse thing that can happen to a human being. I mean other than waking up an Orthodox Jew in Dachau in the winter of 1943.
I got "done" too. Gang raped. Three big kids at day camp held me down, and took turns fucking me up my 10 year old ass.
They said I could "scream all I liked". "Nobody" would come. Nobody did. Nobody ever came.
Just like prison.
Like them floating Angels I kept this to myself.
After a bit my doctor tells me I'm not crazy.
She says, "...I can't get you any dope, but I'll up your med dosage, and throw in some Valium."
"Thanks" I say.
She closes her note book.
"I think we're through for today."
We shake hands, and part,...till next week.
(Like all my stories this is part fantasy part history. The major bits happened though maybe not in the order presented. Like I say think of these as docudrama's. This format makes these things easier to live with for me.)
My sister found an early childhood photo of me. She said it showed the 'happy' innocent Sidney before the Hell Years began. I could see what she meant I 'was' happy, and free back then.
Sort of like the truly innocent, and free native kid in the above National Geographic-esque image above. I think I once mentioned probably on one of my nuked pages. That I wanted to do a reverse "Nat/Geo" piece.
Ya know with western people shown as the naked "natives" going about the mysterious ways. I did do a treatment once of all that. Perhaps I'll give it another try.
Stay Tuned Even More.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Silly as it sounds Peace, and Love is the only way out of this insane awful Mess! Russia, and the Ukraine about to go to War?! It even sounds Crazy. Throw away all those centuries of nationalist hates, and fears. It doesn't even look like fun.
I think the only people enjoying this are the cowards bullies, and killers that started it.
These guys are Cannibals.
They want to 'eat' you...eat you 'all' for lunch. So maybe you shouldn't listen to them. Anyway I think everybody would be a lot happier eating fucking, and getting drunk or maybe like Marcel above dressing up.
(Read more about our hero up there on my "Dragonfly" page...link on lower right.)
Yeah yeah I know most don't believe in'em so what.
(Eh, artist approximation of the species above.)
Anyway in these latitudes it gets hot fast, and nasty. No kidding it can go from the 30'sf to the 80'sf in a day. So this is just a reminder like setting your clock ahead..which I don't do what's the point. Anyway like setting your clock ahead it's getting on time to put ice out on ya window sill for our Faerie pals.
They suffer in the heat ya know. They say this summer is going to start early, and be a killer till October. It's gonna be as hot this year as it was cold this winter so look out!
Get ya'self over to the .99 cent store pick up a few pretty bowls fill'em with ice cubes, and put them on out on your window sills for our wee pals.
You, and they'll be glad ya did.
The weird images above which I've posted a few months back have nothing to do with my dreams, but so what I like them.
Like the title sez I've been having a load of seriously weird dreams. For example I wasn't even in the dream state yet, and crap started happening. I was just closing my eyes when all hell breaks out I'm seeing opening credits for the nights dreams!
It was all scrambled inside out, and backwards, but there it was.
Then the main feature begins. The sea is rising..rising before my eyes! I'm at my old school I'm carrying kids to a boat. I'm wading in sky blue rising water. There are swells that knock me, and kids over we're under water then up again.
When under btw I hear music I come up just the sound of the rising waves.
Sea planes the sky is full of them, but they makes sounds like birds thousands of birds in song. There are auroras green amber yellow all over the sky. They mix, and swirl from horizon to horizon.
Out to sea all kinds of ships. Giant containers huge aircraft carriers their flight decks crammed with people. Ferries skiffs small rubber rafts all leaving for the open sea.
The dream morphs, and I'm in my childhood home looking for my dog. Yeah my dog not my family my folks all that Hallmark noise. I want my damned dog for Christs sakes.
The dream morphs again, and I'm back at work at the radio station. There's all the usual behind the scenes mayhem that the engineers never I mean 'never' get any credit for solving...fuck'em all to hell. Gawd how I loved, and hated all that!
It was good in some ways since in this particular episode I saw old friends now long departed. It was so good to see them. On awakening I wondered if it was their spirits come to say hello. I like to think so.
What can I say the dreams morphed, and morphed again into my past, and probable futures all mixed, and matched together...dreams do that.
In one New York was on fire from the Battery to the Bronx. The sky the wind the air was full of bright sparks burning amber's. The bridges were alight like blazing trees.
The fire had jumped.
It'd jumped the river, and was igniting Brooklyn thereby starting what I knew would eventually be called the "Great Long Island Fire Storm". I was so cold. It was snowing it was a blizzard. The frozen winds were carrying the fire to the Island.
Then I was looking down from space, and saw the plume of black smoke slowly eating everything in it's path.
I saw my father in some kind of hardware shop. He was looking at tools, and taking to someone...don't know who. I didn't call to him. I was just happy to see him so I just "stood?" there watching him.
He was much younger than my last memories of him. He looked like he did when I was little. I wanted to call to him, and tell him I'd grown up, and he had died Johnnie my brother had gone too as had so many relatives.
However something told me he knew all that, and it was okay so I just watched as he got what he came for, and left the shop.
There were several more morphs, but they're all seriously nuts so never mind. I woke up, and saw it was snowing again...'careful what you wish for.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
I always have the feeling that the above building the "American Insurance Building" on B'way, and Wall is going to fall on me. It has that effect on everybody. Still I love the downtown skyline. It was all thrown up before the regulations about crowding out the sun light.
That reg is where all them layer cake designs for skyscrapers came from. Anyway in the old blocks one feels cozy, and hidden by what seems like mile high towers. The streets still narrow from the horse, and buggy times, and huge building on either side...I loves it.
Granted it drive loads of folks nuts, but still.
I also really dig them "Bishop's Crook" lamp posts. They were first installed around town about 1910 or so. Imagine...giving light to clerks millionaires con-men hipsters cops, and cool babes for over 100 bleeping years!!
Lower Manhattan is the last place where they're still common.
I remember them in the Bronx, and Brooklyn when I was a little kid. However they were cleared out during the modernization madness in the 1960's.
Them, and the cobble stone streets bit the dust in that mayhem. Mind you if you 'look' you can still find a few side streets with cobbles from the mid-1800's here, and there in Queens, and the old wharf areas of lower Manhattan. When the weather gets a little warmer I'll take some snaps of these for ya's.
For the first time since December I went out without having to dress in steamy layers. The temps were above freezing. It was a blazing heatwave in the low 40f's!
Break out the "Lime Rickie's!"
My ideal weather is the low to mid 60's with very mild humidity. Right we get that for only a few days in the year. Generally, and now especially with Climate Change it's blizzard to heatwave overnight.
I look forward to sitting in the park with colorful blooms inching their way out of the ground all around me.
As for my favorite topic my health, and hopefully continued breathing,...well. So far so good. Things should get better as the season changes. Although I just went through a period of extreme exhaustion. Weird I slept for a few days. Could barely make it to the deli, and back.
"Holy Crap" I wondered,...is this it?
Not likely. It seems I'll be around paying taxes for a while yet. Times are confusing for me just now. What with moving new surroundings. This, and other mysterious jazz I have to deal with in my new life style of being aged retired profoundly pissed off, and bored.
I'm finally getting a passport, and all sorts of other official stuff that one now needs in this Age of Terror. My family wants to send me someplace. Umm I assume they want me to come back. Anyway they think I should go on some sort of trip to start my Golden Years...they're buying.
So long as it's a 'round trip ticket okay, and no I'd rather not go to Disneyland Ukraine.
I'll let you know where they're deporting me to as soon as the clouds of chaos, and current mayhem in my life clears up. I was wondering if I was going gaga what with these clouds of confusion going on all the time. What do you think?
Anyway I'm still alive, and looking to cause more trouble.
Btw I'm on the air in a few hours,...5am NYC time. Go to wbai.org, and listen live or look up the archives. 5am Saturday..."Saturday Morning w/the Radio On. Join my other 12 listeners.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Beautiful Boys Cartoons, and Music will save the world from the Fire of War, and Gross Male Stupidity. Well that, and a huge dose of rational common sense! You show'em Mickey!
Btw above there are our dear pals Stevie Lee, and Aqualake. May these lovely boys grow into Heartful men.
Right! No more Mr. Nice Guy! Above is my fifth cousin thrice removed Barry. I think he's in politics or something. Anyway he did me a solid by modeling the design for my new uniform as "Supreme Over Lord of Heaven Earth, and fucking Hell!
Okay it needs more work com'on this is just a first draft.
Still ya gets the idea. Your Life, and Immortal Souls are Mine to do with as I please! Thanks "Z", and comrades in the comments section of the below post. Very good suggestions indeed. Real estate, and religion are the foundations of the 1000 year gang-bang!
This is my pal Abe from the Jewish bakery around the corner. My gawd can he make a mean knish! Anyway he's down with the whole world hegemony thing. Here he is in another uniform idea we've been tinkering with...has possibilities.
The "Uncle Sydney Youth" above singing the official camp fire song of the
Movement. "The Skin Flute Serenade"
The "Bondage Sissy Brigade" of the People's All Revolutionary Work Release Program.