Sunday, January 18, 2015

"Michael's Heavens",... from the Achives.

Michael Jackson relaxes with his new friends in "Old Lady" Heaven. He was sent there in exasperation by the "Divine Personnel Dispatch Bureau" They had originally sent him to Hell which Mr. Jackson thought was Heaven.

Artists often make this mistake.

He was eventually found at a demonic radio station where he was producing concerts for Wagner, and that guy that invented the tuba. Michael was stashed in Limbo to cover up this "faux pas" , but he wandered out, and came back to Earth.

He was found again this time in Central Park playing the accordion, and singing for coins, and ham sandwiches.

Loose souls are embarrassing. Ghosts, and all that.

The Management prefers an orderly afterlife for it's clients. Having the dead show up freaking folks out is frowned on. This sort of thing affects promotions, and funding in the Celestial Bureaucracy.

Anyway they tried stuffing Mike into the Queer Heaven, but it was too crowded. Then file clerk, and high school teacher Purgatory.

Same problem.

The aborted embryo nursery,...too weird even for Mr. Jackson.

They even tried settling Michael in the G-d, and G-ddess Reservation. This is where most celebrities, and g-ds from forgotten or unpopular religions end up. However too many people are 'still' praying to Mr. Jackson.

This made a lot of the inmates at the Reservation really jealous.

Sooo, Old Ladies Heaven it is till upper Management can figure this one out. Michael did ask to try out Dog Heaven, but was turned down,..for now.

More on this breaking story as developments warrant.

Stay Tuned.


  1. What a bureaucratic Clusterfuck. It's no secret what sort of beauty MJ would have preferred to be surrounded by. What's wrong with this picture? There's no one in it who even remotely resembles Macaulay Culkin. It's an outrage, I tell ya! This FUBAR'd adjudication must be rectified immediately!


  2. The reputation of the Almighty's Divine Justice depends upon it!


  3. Well this whole mess is before the Board now...indeed has been for several years since I wrote this report. Meantime Mike has slipped away again. He could turn up anywhere!

  4. The other night he was setting on the roof of the 3 story house across the street. He was crying for Jordy. Michael loved him you know.
    PS: Glad Brooklyn dodged the snow bullet but the poor folks far out on Long Island and up to Nantucket and Boston and Maine didn't. Warm hugs for them. L