Friday, April 4, 2014

"Strangled Kittens"

Yeah I thought that would get your attention. I had this whole rant about our recent wars, and assorted excesses, but thought fuck it. You folks already know all that.

Then I thought I would pray. It would 'might' do some good. I mean what with stuff being so Biblical, and not in a nice way these last few centuries especially the last one. What the heck what harm could it do.

No dice. Gawd's phone is off the hook, and Her website is down.

I think She's pretty well fed up with that whole creation, and seeding sentient life all over the place routine. Didn't pan out especially with us, and those demented homicidal upper atmospheric Jovian Balloon Fish.

Nasty bunch them.

I pity the first astronauts that run into those blood thirsty maniacs.

But I digress.

Humanity is Gawd's teenaged problem child. I mean look at us we strangle kittens for fun. A kid in my 'hood when I was little did this...'thought it was "funny"...oh my. Not only that, but we've had war's that consumed up to a million souls in one battle...the Somme or Verdun ring a bell? ...hello?

Yeah we did all that, and steal crap from the Mall too. Did I mention our snuff porn we hide on the laptop?

We're a piece of work alright. The Boss is thinking of calling in a specialist.


We that is Humanity, can't speak for the Balloon Fish. We play the cello real swell. We paint neat fresco's, and sing moving arias. Fats Waller ain't bad either. Come to think of it we're pretty good in the garden. Yeah we got that Parks, and Recreation thing down pretty nice.

I guess this is why the Heavens ain't erupting with pissed off clouds of Angry Angels with burning chain saws coming down to hack us to bits like slimy plague rats.

Aw man just the thought....yeeesh!

Let me put it this way. Here's the scene. Gawd is having a party at the house Zeus Minerva Krishna that whole crowd is over drinking, and generally fucking around.

Suddenly Humanity comes out of the playroom drops his diaper, and takes a honking big dump on the rug. ...bit of a conversation stopper that. Anyway humankind dumps laughs, and runs away.

Gawd half smiles shaking Her head, and the help cleans up.

Yep that's us in a nutshell.

The party conversation turns to floods, and fire storms.

Well okay so we're violently insane, and have a really troubling sense of humor...however.


Besides murdering babies for fun like we did in Syria at the start of that ongoing deranged war. Besides that like I say we do nice stuff.

We Day Dream.

We do Radio Astronomy.

...and wet slippery spurting oral sex!

Now ya gotta admit these 'are' saving graces.

Think about it. Non stick frying pans ball point pens comic books Slinky's. Clearly these are the reasons that the Moon ain't turned to blood, and the damned Stars ain't dropped out'a the sky, and the very Earth ain't opened up to let loose the hungry Hounds of Hell to devour the Evil, and Just alike!

Basically all the scary jazz from "Revelations". Gawd's "Mien Kampf!"

Wow I think I just scared the hell out of myself. Perhaps I'll have a non-sugar beverage now, and calm down.

Stay Tuned.


  1. Yeah we're Jekyll & Hyde. The scary stuff starts when empathy goes away. Gotta have it.


  2. Yeah that's the ball game alright. Like Mark Twain said, '...Humanity is somewhere between the Angels, and the French."

    Uncle Syd...