Tuesday, April 28, 2015

"Landlords"



Okay a 20 second tutorial on Sino/American relations over the last 70 years or so. 

Ahem.

First it was "Flying Tiger Time!"


We were swell good pals with the Chinese. We was drinking Cokes, and helping them blast the hell out'a the Nipponese that had invaded, and were killing Everybody they could get their deranged hands on.


Google the "Rape of Nanking",...and that one was when they was in a good mood.

So far so good, but then things suddenly went nuts. A "Massive Amnesia" sets in we forgot we're pals, and spend years blowing each others brains out in Korea of all places.


 Weird.

Anyway skip ahead, and Bleeping Nixion...yeah that sneaky two faced asshole Nixion goes to China patches shit up, and suddenly we remember we're buddies. 


Things is just peachy with us for a while. However our Sino pals are getting wise to our game, and mean to beat us at it. Right skip ahead a few generations, and China owns our Debt...all of it pretty much.


In other words they've got our Balls in their back pocket. Also everything in your house was made in Shanghai. ...and btw they just landed a rover on the moon.


This while we retired our Space Shuttles 'cause we can't afford to build new ones, and the old ones are nearly 40 years old, and were crashing on a regular basis. Below the burnt helmet of one of our Astronauts.


They are not yet laughing in our faces, but like most of the world they're sure as shit doing so behind our backs,...for now.


Anyway yeah there's more details...there always are, but this is really all ya needs to know. Them fuckers are our new Landlords.

  Next time "Our Plans to Steal Canada without them Noticing".

(This is the second in a history series by your esteemed editor.)


Stay Tuned.





4 comments:

  1. It seems Chinese parents want their kids to study western classical music (and get MBAs, of course). Do you think we could sell them on the notion of teaching them fresco and oil painting, and how to make queer art 'zines? Just trying to think ahead.

    Z

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  2. "Only Nixon could go to China." Why couldn't he have kept up the fine old Republican tradition of ranting inanely about Godless China? Sure woulda saved us a lotta jobs.

    Z

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  3. If you know your "Trek" lore. An old Vulcan saying, ..."Only Nixon could go to China."

    Having a family connection with the "Heavenly Paradise". I hope to do well on the arrival of our new Overlords.

    Uncle,

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  4. Sex, Weed and Rock-n-Roll will win in the end.
    Linca

    ReplyDelete