Friday, October 14, 2016

"Why Can't Life be like a Movie?"

Maybe I should clarify.

Why can't I be in a 'happy' movie. Most of what ya gets these daze is either stupid or evil. Zombie, vampire mailmen that suck your brains out,...through your eye sockets.

That or stupid love stories about rich assholes that fuck a lot, and drive around in 1938 Bugatti's.
Nah, I wanna live in one of them hopeful Capra fantasies. The kind where some good hearted yokels go through some contrived bullshit, but in the end all's well.

I want to be the Crusading! Teacher, Pastor, or Reporter. There's always one of these swell guys in the script. Always fighting for the innocent!

Usually some old guy is losing his farm or a bunch of cute depression era kids are about to be dumped into an evil orphanage.

The farmer might go to the glue factory, and the kids could get sodomized, flogged, and generally bleeped over in some Hellish juvenile fuck hole.

Somewhere in all this I gets to make this Passionate Speech Sermon or Editorial. This usually saves everybody, and I get the girl or boy in the end.

Yeah okay Capra never did gay stuff,...that we know of, but you get the picture.
In the final scene Gramps is on his farm knee deep in pig shit, and the kids are back on the block stealing stuff, and breaking windows.

'All happy as Junkies that stumbles onto 50 kilos of China White. (...uncut.)

The music swells, and the credits roll.

What could be better. That, and no one has to see the messy contradictions of the film's characters getting on with everyday fucked up lives after the lights come up.

                  This is why we love movies so much, and why I wants to live in one.

The dream world that these flickering phantoms live in. Their universe, their eternity is one where you never, 'ever' gets beat up by cops shot overdosed sued laid off or V.D.

                                                    Great Realm, Bless'em!


                                                           Stay Tuned.


  1. I think the film should be You Are Not Alone. I'll be Kim.

    Failing that, it should be Woodstock, the 1967 Monterey Pop Festival, or the very first Renaissance Faire ever.


  2. Yeah I would have loved to be at that first "Renaissance Faire". This before it became a living parody of itself.

    One cringes at the very name now.

    Oh how did they go so embarrassingly wrong?