Sunday, October 26, 2014

"Laff Clown Laff!"

I have no idea how clowns became so popular back in the day. I really ought to read up on this odd tradition. Well maybe it made sense when traveling Carnivals were the only weird shit in town.

Yeah that makes sense.

There you are slopping the hogs or being hacked to death in this or that pogrom. That or burying most of your town or village after a plague or one of them somewhat unpleasant Viking visits. 

Then along comes the Carnival to cheer things up. Heck even the local Lord, and his murdering rapist pals from the Castle come to join in the festivities.

Acrobats weird animals guys swallowing pigs whole juggling burning pots of fire actors doing funny plays about Milk-Maids, and Priests, and of course our old pals the Clowns.

These days I could use a bit of that mayhem myself!

However with the Ocean of weird fucked up shit we have access to 24/7 I really don't think criminally insane old depressed guys in fright wigs, and war paint does the deal anymore.

Especially since now they're so identified with Mass Murderer Rapist Communist Pedophile Cannibals, and greasy substitute homeroom teachers.

I swear these guys are just creepy. 

Okay maybe they mean well. That is when they're not out eating people or kidnapping them so as to turn them into handbags raincoats or singing in the subway, and bothering you for change. 

The specimen in the doorway there is a tad worrisome.

On the other hand maybe he is 'just' a sweet jolly fellow out to bring a touch of joy into this shit stained nightmare of a world we stumble around in.

Sure he's in an old dark bunker in a deserted portion of Prospect Park on a Saturday Morning. However perhaps he truly just means to brighten the day of any isolated unawares person that happens by,....then he'll stab, and or eat him.

The only exception to all this btw is a swell group called "Clowns Without Borders".  No lie these folks really exist have for years, and do the real deal.

They're more like them ancient Carnival Clown folks that entertained folks after the the Khan's Hoards just finished burning every village for 500 miles around.

Ya gotta admit after one of them events the Proles are in bad need of some serious laffs.

You can find these swell folks here:

These nice folks go to all manner of second, and third world Hellholes when things are still as Medieval as during the smoky times of the Khan, and his pals.

'Matter of fact the swell daughter of some dear pals of mine is a gleeful member of this neat bunch. You bet I'm proud of her!

As for the other variety what can I say. Geez ya know I shouldn't be so hard on these folks as I may end up being a street clown before this mess is over myself.

Ya never know how you'll finally end up.

Well okay, but I draw the line at being a rapist or cannibal...all the other stuff we'll see.

Stay Tuned.


  1. Pirates are a lot less scary.


  2. So True. Indeed up in Paradise at the Office of Ironic Practical Jokes, and Reincarnation Assignments. This occupation is one of the most requested, and least allowed occupations.

    Most folks get to be mailmen cannon fodder starving peasant or bored fat American. Hey it's always a crap shoot. I mean when they told me they only had openings for re-incarnations as American Negros in the 1950's or Polish Jews in 1940...well you see my predicament.

  3. Well for my next incarnation I wanna be a dolphin. And if they force me to be human again (yuck) I'll request a perfect clone of Eddie Furlong or Taylor Hanson as my own personal minion & catamite. Virtue's gotta have its rewards!


  4. For my next trip 'round I'd like to be a hat box in an upscale ladies shop in 1880's Paris. In choosing a new life one can of course move back, and forth as well as sideways in time, and space.

    So a nice Hat Box on my next trip.

    I expect a long peaceful life in the private chambers of a cultured lady of note, and after that an equally long shelf-life in a museum of fashion.

    It beats the current crap by a country mile.