Sunday, September 6, 2015

“Die You Dirty Grunt Doll!, and Playset"


I say it’s way past time for seriously realistic war toys. Namely the “Die You Dirty Grunt Doll!” This realistic correct to scale model toy soldier from "Uncle Sidney's Educational Crafts Inc." comes with replica weapons uniforms, and assorted tools for slow agonizing death.

When your “Dirty Grunt” doll gets the ever popular "flesh wound" your special boy or girl will find out that it’s nothing as portrayed in the movies.

Your “Dirty Grunt” doll will scream call for his mother cruse the day he was born excrete liquid, and solid wastes, and copious amounts of realistic blood. Yep it’s code yellow brown, and red in the trenches when your realistic toy soldier catches some white hot chunks of shrapnel in his face chest, and groin.

Of course there’s the Artillery Mortar 20mm, and machine gun wounds that your Dirty Grunt will certainly sustain as real Grunts do.

No screaming this time as he’s instantly dead what with his legs arms genitals face hands feet, and guts are sprayed all over the realistic “Dirty Grunt Play Battle Field”,…lithium batteries extra.

Yes a toy whose time is long overdue. Let the future volunteers or potential draftees of the future know what waiting for the just around the corner.

As they say, “…Yes kids tell your Mom or Dad you want the “Die you Dirty Grunt” doll, and Play Set.

That or our new line of History series play sets. “Bataan Death March” “The Wake Island Slaughter” or the “Cattle Car to Hell” Final Solution Train Set". ( This is a very limited edition set.)

(...I think I may have gone a tad too far with this one.)


Deleted Scenes:

There are more kits on the way. We're just going over the specs for the upcoming "Shoot'em at the Wire" American Freedom Protection Act" line of sets. This will teach young, and old of the importance of protecting our sacred borders against "Them" from sneaking in, and taking our jobs.

It comes with a 50 feet border wall, 1/24th scale. Hanging clay-more mines latest generation gunships realistic figures of Border troops, and the treacherous "Aliens". Homeland Security is helping us with the details. They appreciate what we're doing in educating the coming generation about the new lay of the land in this country. 


For those that want to order the full sets, with "all' the accessories I'm afraid you'll have to wait till the Holidaze for most of the newer kits.  

Our factories in China are working over time to fulfill the huge number of orders we've been receiving. Indeed we've had to put in new nets to keep our workers from taking that final dive because of the 20 hour work shifts. 

 (Btw that's our very new  limited edition WW4 set above. Get on the waiting list Now!)

Further we're designing another new play set "Homeland Security Airport Strip Search Set". This'll teach the next generation to get used to having no rights or privacy. 

'But wait,...there's More!

The "American History Freedom Trail Heartland Set" which is now available! Items include "The Kent, and Jackson State Student Massacre Kit" for those interested in the early days of the Culture Wars. 

Also a more contemporary kit in the series "Culling the Herd" This is proving to be one of our more popular, and controversial sets. This is the covert/overt population control of the Inner Cities, and Trailer Parks play-set. 

It comes with realistic public housing or "Project" apartment blocks. Very realistic figures of Black self destructive addicted violent underclass out-of-wedlock tenants included. Also to scale White working class classic mobile home trailer park enclaves. Also with very realistic flag waving doper boozing incestuous, and semi-educated unemployed White figures.

Of course included are State, and Local Police assault troops, and armored vehicle exact scale models. Also NSA Black Chopper Drug, and Arms drop Models.  These for the black, and white underclass population to addict themselves, and terrorize their own communities with.

(Figures of police provocateurs Serbian/FBI drug, and arms importers, corrupt local officials, and stupid media personalities optional.) 

A set that's not only fun, but a teaching tool in culture, and population control. For ages 9 to adult.

Place your orders now, and avoid the holiday rush!

Stay Tuned.

No comments:

Post a Comment