Tuesday, September 29, 2015

"My Geisha Dreams"

I was just having a back, and forth in comments with dear Comrade "Z".

Anyway he was telling me that them geisha gals ain't exactly "thick on the ground" over there in Japan. This since to get into the training one needs the introduction from assorted big shots. Politicians rich guys or the mafia. Also after you get in it's insanely "expensive" so only children of the very well off are geisha.

What a drag.

So I figured I could fix this...with one of them "Kick Start" money for new businesses things. I'll start a franchise of cut-rate Geisha Academies. Sort of like them car or air conditioner repair school scams.

Here's copy for my upcoming Commercial for "Geisha 'R Us!"

"Yep come to " Aunt Kiko's Geisha Refinement Academy" Outlets all over the Tri-State area. We'll have you in white powder a kimono, and saying "Hello Sailor" in no time. Financial assistance available. Apply today have your 'Geisha Dreams' come true!

All sizes life-styles genders orientations, and till now unknown, and or unique identities welcome!
On public assistance? Currently incarcerated? No problem. We can work a deal!

We speak Russian/Мы говорим на русском!

Ask about our Veterans special rates!

We speak Creole/Nou pale Kreyòl!

Si Habla Espanol!

Apply Today!

Stay Tuned.


  1. I've heard from someone who appears to be well informed on the topic that going to geisha school is *extremely* expensive. No one can afford it but the wealthy. In practice, to become a geisha, a woman has to be sponsored from early childhood onward by someone with lots of money. This doesn't happen every day, so geisha aren't all that thick on the ground, even in Japan. And their services are *very* costly. Every movement they make, every word they speak, every little gesture, is the expression of a highly cultivated art form. Or so I've been told.


  2. What we need is a cut-rate Geisha school franchise.

    Sort of like them car or air conditioner repair school scams. Yep come to "Kiko's Geisha Refinement Academy" Outlets all over the Tri-State area,...ask for our special Veterans rates...Si Habla Espanol!

  3. Great idea! Sort of like a ballet academy franchise, only tonier. But I'd be a little bit concerned that the high-end geisha schools might not take kindly to this concept, and could be tempted to deploy some ninja assassins to make the whole thing quietly fade away - with impeccable style and discretion, of course.


  4. Well of course.

    "We apologize for the necessity of removing your head,..eh, and other organs.
    And we do admire your respect for the Geisha tradition,...however business is business." If you would please assume the traditional position..."