Saturday, September 13, 2014
"All in the Family"
First of all I loved my Dad...sort of. Hey I don't have to tell you about the noise with fathers, and sons. I was pissed at him in my 20's because he wasn't there enough when I was little to do all that "Leave it to Beaver" Daddy stuff with me.
Well of course he wasn't...DUH! He was working his butt off to make sure we kept our house ate, and went to school!
When you're a stupid needy kid these things don't occur to you. I remember after my folks passed away I found my father's ledgers, and journals. These were a great enlightenment on the responsibilities of parenthood.
Dad, and Ma struggled like hell to keep us going. They kept all that frightful static of survival from us so we could have relatively happy childhoods.
I loved my folks, and after reading the journals I loved them even more.
Still I did endure what I've called on these pages years of "Childhood Apocalypse". It did not come from my folks. They didn't even know about all that horror, and abuse till I was well grown.
It's interesting in that context that neither ever gave me a hard time for being a little Queer when I was a kid...yeah they knew. They knew the minute I was hatched.
My Mom was a student, and radical at City University in the 1940's. That, and she sang in night clubs to make dough to pay her way. So it's no surprise she had plenty of friends "In the Life" as it was called then. In fact she had a Queer room-mate...so.
As for Dad he was just a kind, and accepting guy. With all the other problems one faced back then...Jim Crow the Depression, and World War Two. Well with all that he figured "Fairy's", the polite term back in the day, wasn't something to get nuts about.
Mind you they weren't a walk in the park to deal with. They could be hard as nails them folks. They were made by the harsh history of their times so didn't put up with bleep from us.
It was in some ways a 19th century family. You spoke when spoken to, and did 'everything' you were told...PERIOD.
We could use some of that today by what I'm seeing out there.
I dream of them, and my brother who passed away a few years ago often. In fact I had a dream of my brother the other night. He was running this fancy neon lit night club. Everybody was high-fiveing him, and he was introducing me around to the gleeful crowd as his "kid-brother".
It was a wild happy dream.
I think he was just trying to tell me that it ain't over, and I should finally get around to enjoying my life "...ya Dummy!"
Hummm...good point there.
Your esteemed editor above in short pants.