Monday, February 22, 2016

"Oscar's Day"

 Our hero Oscar Wilde has come back to earth to cash in on NYC's "Booze, and Dope for Guns".

(...A program our current mayor thought of while on an Angel Dust Whiskey rush.)

Oscar knowing a bargain when he drinks one came to town with a sack of assorted fire arms.
Including the pistol Hitler blew his brains out with, Buffalo Bill's six shooters, and John Dillinger's Tommy guns.

The aforementioned luminaries were happy to donate these items to Oscar in return for a cut of the take. (...yes 'everyone' goes to heaven. More on that another time.)

Well, you can imagine Oscar's surprise, and outrage when the Mayor's apparatchiks turned him down flat! Apparently there's an obscure clause in the City Charter that forbids doing any business with the dead. Unless they're registering to vote. Not only that, but they tried to confiscate all of our hero's guns too!

Bleep this sez Oscar, and he lays some celestial double whammy on these wonks.

While the mere mortals are out cold Oscar helps himself to as much contraband as he can carry, and leaves. Btw he later stops to look in or his old friend Uncle Sidney.

As you know he hasn't been well,...he shares some opium with our beloved hero. He sez to our ailing Uncle, " dear colleague Emily Dickinson swears by this wondrous elixir!"

...and so lays several kilos on our good Uncle.

Oscar after various unprintable adventures finally shows up at his photo op at the Rainbow Flag factory in Burning Rash, New Jersey.

However upon being told there was 'no' ex gratia payment for his services he promptly pissed on the rug. He then lectured his hosts on the finer points of what an armed, and profoundly intoxicated dead Queer poet, and orator could do when annoyed.

Upon consideration of this, and other super-natural events a reasonable honorarium was agreed to.
Oscar then returned to Heaven where he had a luncheon date Leonardo da Vinci.

Stay Tuned.

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