Tuesday, December 9, 2014

"Old Timer"

 I just saw another "Health Nut" article saying as to how your 50's are the new late 30's. What a load of damp shit. Who the fuck do they think they're kidding. My 50's were a fucking nightmare of body damage, and worn out parts.

However being over 60 is bleeping paradise. For starts you can't remember shit you don't care about bleep. Sex is mercifully a distant bad memory. 

People give a seat where ever ya are. Relatives are always doing nice crap for ya, and calling to see if you're still alive. Heck an old pal just called this morning. Wanted to know if I wanted some home made apple pie.

That stuff could kill me these daze so of course I said "yeah as many as ya got!"

Though I'm always sick as hell depressed pissed off, and generally annoyed, and disappointed I'm enjoying the hell out of my Golden Retirement Nightmare.

My biggest problems are remembering which meds to take, and when. That, and suddenly dropping dead.

Oh year I think them UFO saucer guys have stopped abducting me. 

Yeah I've had an ongoing problem with them bastards for a while. I remember telling the story on the air as to how my radio station manager gave me an emergency sick day.

This because I was have scary flashbacks of of some of my weirder abduction episodes...ya had to be there. 

The point is I worked at maybe the only place on Earth when your boss would give you a UFO sick day.

I'm looking forward to my 70's, and 3-D TV!

Otherwise I'm fine.

Stay Tuned.


  1. You're right, that "50 is the new 30" is a load of bovine bollocks. If I could get my sweaty mitts on the local hospital's mortality stats, I bet I'd find that life expectancy is sliding down, not going up, over the past few years.

    But look on the bright side, at least you've got a roof overhead & a modest albeit povertie'd pension. You could be looking at life in a camper shell, which is my most likely "retirement" plan if I'm lucky. Plus you have a ringside seat to the decline & fall of American civilization, which is bound to be a very diverting spectacle.


  2. Oh yes I thank the G-ddess for all I have...and the Dept of Social Services as well. To say nothing of my swell family, and Sister that insists that I not starve or go without cable.

    That ringside seat to the fall of our Empire is a laff a minute. I loves it.

    Everyday more, and more cracks in the Imperial shield. Like I sez I hope I last long enough to take the pledge of adherence to the compact of the New England Republic. Heck I might even get a job as an Oral History Witness in schools, and universities in the new Republic.

    I saw, and actually lived in the "Former United States of America" at it's absolute height in the 1950's to it fall in the 2030's. I imagine the student's will get a kick out of my stories of the very first satellites in the night skies cars with big fins milk delivered to your door in glass bottles Freedom of Speech Jim Crow, and water you could drink from any faucet.

    That, and my meeting Allen Ginsberg, and John Lennon at a demonstration in Central Park when I was a kid in the 1970's.

    Yeah I'll like that job fine.