Wednesday, December 31, 2014
So I went to the Dentist to have even more of my few remaining teeth yanked out of my skull. They're hacking away at me to make way for my first set of dentures...swell.
Meanwhile I have 'no' teeth!
That, and my mouth aches like bleeping hell!! One tooth they were after had a root 38 miles deep, and they meant to go down every inch to get it. I knew something was up when other dentists, and assistants from the place started showing up to watch the show.
There I was with my maw stretched open, and this guy with both arms up to his elbow down my throat.
"Holy Crap!" ...said he.
"This is a tough one."
The other dentists began kibitzing.
"...try pulling to the left."
"...use the number four extractor...has more pull."
Then came, "...put him under, and cut."
Yeah thanks pal!
Meanwhile the Novocaine began wearing off he's been at it so long. When I started screeching in blind mad agony ol' Doc realized I needed another shot, and he needs to rest his arms.
Like prize fighters we retired to our corners to plan the next round.
Okay okay I'll cut to the chase. Yeah he finally got the damned evil thing out...to the actual applause of his pals. I'll bet Dentist are like the rest of us when they talk shop.
"Man ya won't believe the wreck I had to deal with this morning...rot, rot, an more rot...ecck."
Just occurred to me that I should have asked for that bleeping Rhino Tusk they yanked out'a me. I was just too blitzed, and generally fucked up to realize what the hell was happening just then. I would have posted the trophy here to illustrate this nightmare.
So that was my New Years Morning Eve comrades. I'm off now to the Parsonage of the Rt. Reverend Martin, and Nurse Pickles. We're going out to set things on fire, and instigate race riots.
I hope your New Years is as joyful.